or sister, and the love of my life is the father, I still want him with a passion that sets my heart alight.
However, despite all of this I know that my selfishness for this man has to take a back seat. Just staring at the big bump protruding from my mother is an all too constant reminder that someone else—someone who is more important than I am—needs their mother and father.
How can I ever get in the way of that?
“Why do you think I am no longer living with him?” I finally answer. “It’s not because we no longer want each other.”
She has the audacity to smile at me. “Oh, I can completely understand. Who would want to give up a man like Jake? He takes care of everyone he loves—his fierce protection alone makes him the man of any woman’s dreams. And not to mention the sex.” She waves her hand in front of her face like it’s hot in here, meanwhile, all I feel is sick. “He really is quite an animal in bed, isn’t he?”
And there it is.
I see it in her eyes. The victory. She’s right, he is an animal in bed, and the only way she would know that is if they really had…
Bile rises in my throat. I don’t want to hear anymore, but for some reason my feet are cemented to the tiled kitchen floor. That is until she says, “Do you want me to ask him to get you some pancakes? He’s gone to the Pancake House because he knows how much I crave them lately,” she rubs her belly. “He’s such a loving man. I’m so lucky to have him to father my child.”
At her words, my feet finally find they have movement. With each step in front of the other, I don’t look back.
“I take that as a no then?” she shouts at my retreating frame.
Devastated tears well inside my eyes as I’m hit with the knowledge of something that hits me viciously hard in the chest.
I’ve lost.
She’s won.
Jake cannot be a part of my life. She’s having his baby, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it. I no longer have hope. Only despair, anger, resentment, and last but not least, a broken heart. Scrap that. A shattered heart.
To make matters worse, a reminder of that shattered heart is straight in front of me as I practically rip the door open to let myself out. Jake takes one look at me, his hand holding the delicious smelling pancakes, his lips parting in shock. “Ana,” is all he says, but it makes my chest tighten even more. He looks as beautiful as ever, but he also seems tired and drawn. His bright eyes are darkened, and his face is again unshaven. He had always put a lot of effort into the way he looked, but this man in front of me appears to have given up. But despite all of this, he is still Jake … still the man who owns my heart completely.
For a moment we just stare at each other, my eyes brimming with tears. Based on the way he grimaces, my pain is hurting both of us. It’s only when I feel a presence behind me that I find my voice.
“I was just leaving.”
As quickly as I can, I rush past him. Again, I hear him call my name. “What did you say to her?” he growls back at Stella, but I don’t turn around. I can’t stay here a moment longer. “Ana!” he screams again, the sound of his heavy footsteps running behind me telling me he’s chasing after me. “Ana,” he says again, grabbing my arm and spinning me to face him as we reach my car. He spots my tears and rears back. “Ana, what did she do? Tell me?”
Frantically rubbing the tears away from my face, I shake my head. “Please, Jake. I can’t…” I feel a sob rising in my throat, so I inhale a deep breath, trying to compose myself. When I finally feel like I can talk, I fix him with my eyes and say, “You must promise me you’ll leave me alone…”
He takes a step towards me, his arms ready to bring me to him. “Ana, I…”
“Don’t touch me,” I snap, a bit too forcefully, causing him to jerk back in surprise. “I’m sorry, but I can’t keep doing this…”
“What did she say?”
I put my hand up in front of us. “Please, let me speak.”