I collected my purse and headed out of the room, pausing long enough to look back. I struggled with what to say. He held my eyes, his own troubled, and then I realized they were a reflection of my own.
“Good-bye, Mark,” I whispered.
“It’s not good-bye, Jo Marie, not by a long shot.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him.
—
Once I was in the parking lot, I called Greg. “Can you meet me earlier?” I asked, struggling to control my emotions.
“Sure. When?”
“How long will it take you to drive to Tacoma?”
He hesitated, as if calculating the route from the east side. “Thirty minutes, or forty, I suppose. Is something wrong? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“I’m not myself…in fact, I don’t know who I am anymore.” I hated it when Mark and I disagreed. He’d changed in the year he’d been away and so had I. As I’d so recently reminded him, we were different people now and I wasn’t sure we were capable of going back. I felt like I hardly knew him any longer.
“Things aren’t going well with Mark?”
“No.” It was the blunt truth.
Greg didn’t comment. “I’ll get there as quickly as I can. Wait inside for me and have a glass of red wine. It will help you relax.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. Through all this Greg had been my one constant.
“Jo Marie?” he asked.
“Yes?”
“You realize I’d do anything for you, don’t you?”
I nodded, which of course he couldn’t see. “I know,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
—
By the time Greg arrived, I was on my second cup of coffee. Thankfully, my nerves had settled and I was in better control of my emotions. I looked up when the restaurant door opened. Right away Greg saw me sitting in the booth. He slid into the seat opposite and reached for my hands.
“I think I broke a speed record getting here. Tell me what’s happened.”
Tears filled my eyes. “Mark might be going back to Iraq.”
Greg didn’t bother to hide his shock. “You’re joking.”
I wished I was. “No. He hasn’t made his decision yet, but I know he’s only fooling himself. I can see it in his eyes. He feels an obligation to return, to be a hero the same way his father and grandfather before him were.” Saving Ibrahim wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy Mark. This was in his blood, part of his DNA.
“What does this mean for us?” Greg asked.
I sucked in a harsh breath. “I don’t know…but I basically told Mark if he decides to go that I was finished with him.”
Greg’s eyes flared. “Do you mean that?”
I nodded and answered, anyway. “Yes…I do mean it, but then I don’t know…I just don’t know.”
His hands squeezed my fingers. “Then there’s a chance for you and me?” he asked, his eyes filled with hope.
Greg had been wonderful through all this. Never demanding, never showing outside signs of resentment or jealousy. He couldn’t have been more understanding.
“Jo Marie,” he whispered and raised my fingers to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Give me something to hold on to.”
“I think there is a chance,” I said. “Yes, definitely, yes.”
Greg kissed my fingertips a second time. “I wouldn’t be honest if I told you I was sorry things aren’t working out between you and Mark. Your happiness means a great deal to me. I’m fairly certain you already know how I feel about you.”
“I do know.”
“I accept that you have strong feelings for Mark.”
I looked down and closed my eyes. I wished it wasn’t so. I loved him heart and soul, but I was determined to put him out of my mind if he felt it was necessary to return to this mission.
That’s what he’d wanted me to do, what he’d asked I do—put him out of my mind.
And that had worked so well a year ago when he first left. Oh yes, so well.
Who was I kidding?
I wasn’t able to sleep, and my last conversation with Nick was only part of the problem. After he said he wanted more than friendship from me, I’d holed up in my room and considered the consequences. Nick might think he was falling in love with me, and heaven knew I was a hair’s breadth away myself. But the complications of loving him were multiple.
First off, I was an emotional crutch to Nick. For whatever reason he thought he needed me, and that need was distorted by the physical attraction we felt toward each other. As soon as he finished working out his brother’s