That wasn’t by coincidence. Paul’s commanding officer had purposely waited until he could speak to Mark when I wasn’t around. Doing my best to hide my irritation, I casually asked, “What did he have to say?”
“This and that.”
“I’ll bet. He wants you to return to Iraq, doesn’t he?” While he might not be directly connected to the mission, I wouldn’t put it past the powers that be to use him to pressure Mark.
Mark avoided the question. “It was a casual visit, or so he said.”
“I bet.” I’d always liked Dennis and I appreciated the help he’d given me, but I wasn’t fond of him trying to persuade Mark one way or the other.
“Milford reminded me of my father and grandfather’s contributions to our country’s defense.”
“He would, of course he would.” I strongly suspected Dennis would use whatever tactic he felt necessary to persuade Mark to put his life in danger once again.
“He wants me to re-enlist.”
“No way.” I felt so strongly about this that I leaped to my feet. “Mark, please don’t do it. Please, I couldn’t bear it.”
“You don’t understand—”
“You’re right, I don’t,” I said, cutting him off. “All I understand is that I already nearly lost you once.”
“What I do, it’s important. I can save lives.”
I felt like weeping. Nothing I said would influence him. As far as I knew, Mark had already made up his mind. I only had one thing to say. I focused my attention on him. “If you’re seriously considering this, then I need to know now.” I placed heavy emphasis on the last word.
My words hung in the air between us and seemed to vibrate. It seemed to take a long time for Mark to respond. “Why, so you can continue your relationship with another man?”
I held his gaze for a long moment, my heart racing, before I slowly nodded and answered with one simple word. “Yes.”
His eyes widened as the implication hit him and appeared to have a direct impact. He exhaled. “Jo Marie, you don’t understand. Until a few years ago the army was my life…”
“What about a civilian job?” I said, grabbing at straws. “There are plenty of army contractors. Work for one of them.” I didn’t have any idea what I was talking about, but it sounded good.
“I have the opportunity to make a real difference. No one has been to the places I have, no one knows the people I know. And most important, no one else is capable of seeing this through.”
“You’re parroting Milford.”
“I’m speaking the truth.”
“Then go,” I said, as if it meant nothing. “But when you do, you need to keep one thing in mind. I won’t be waiting for you.”
My words landed in the middle of the room like a bomb waiting to explode.
“You’re that serious about Gary?” I saw a flash of pain in Mark’s eyes as he asked the question.
“Greg,” I corrected, knowing full well Mark purposely said the wrong name. “I don’t know how serious it is with him, but I’ll tell you this, it won’t matter because our relationship, yours and mine, will be over.”
“You don’t mean that.”
To be fair, he was right, but I couldn’t let Mark know this. “Is that something you want to find out, Mark?”
He frowned and looked as miserable as I felt.
I walked around to the other side of the bed. “I can’t do this, Mark. I’m sorry. It would be best if I left now.”
His face tightened and it seemed like he was holding his breath. “Are you leaving for good?”
I wanted him to know how serious I was and toyed with the idea of telling him I didn’t know, but that would have been cruel. “I’ll be back sometime tomorrow.”
Relief showed in his face and he visibly relaxed. Then, almost as if he knew my intentions, he asked, “Where are you going now?”
I hesitated.
“Is it to see him?”
“If by ‘him’ you mean Greg, then yes; we’re meeting in Tacoma.” I was fully aware this news would upset him, but I refused to be anything but straightforward and honest, and I expected the same from him.
Mark didn’t think I understood his position, but he was wrong. I understood all too well. The army to Mark and his family was like a mistress: tempting, addictive, attractive, and powerful. Like his father and his grandfather before him, Mark yearned to leave his own mark on the history of our country’s defense. He wanted to be a hero, live