I’m still dressed in my winter gear and I tug off my hat, tossing it onto her little table.
“It was stupid of me to push you and Aiden together. I was freaking out I guess, knowing that the only life I can provide you right now is one you don’t want. Going to your parents’ house for Thanksgiving, seeing you light up when Aiden walked in the door, hearing about his steady, consistent job as your dad called him son bothered me. Yeah, I was fucking jealous,” I admit, throwing my hands in the air.
“Of Aiden?” she asks like it’s the craziest idea in the world.
I shrug, shoving a hand in my pocket and rocking back on my heels. Nothing like going all in and here we are, throwing down all our cards. “Maybe not of Aiden exactly but of the kind of guy he represents. The one who can give you the life you want, the stability, the security. But it was still stupid of me to try to push you away. After that night, I hated how distant you were toward me. It fucked with my head, messed up my play, and that was before you even told me about the baby.”
We’re silent for a long moment. Worries and desires coloring the kitchen with tension, anticipation, and need.
“What do you think about the baby?” she asks quietly, her eyes flaring with a hope she doesn’t want to give into.
“I think that if I didn’t want you, if I wasn’t already in goddamn love with you, I wouldn’t be so, so happy that you’re having my baby.” The truth tumbles out of me, raw and real.
Tears fill Indy’s eyes, one spilling onto her cheek.
“No tears, Indiana,” I murmur, closing the space between us. With the pad of my finger, I stop her tear, dashing it away. But then my hand is back on her skin, cupping the side of her face, my thumb swiping across her bottom lip. “No tears unless they’re happy ones.”
At that she breaks, dropping her head into my chest and sobbing.
“Shh, baby.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re never going on another date with Aiden.”
She snorts, pulling back to wipe her eyes and look up at me. “It wasn’t a date. Aiden’s been my best friend for years.”
“I don’t care. You’re never going on another date with another man who isn’t me again.” The words come out sharper than I intend and while I expect her to give me shit for them, she grins up at me.
“What are you saying, Noah?”
“I’m saying that I fucked up and I’m sorry. But from the first time I kissed you, Indy, you’ve been mine. My girl.” My hand drops to her still flat tummy. “Our baby. We’re a family now. And I won’t have any members of my family canoodling—”
“Canoodling?” She lifts an eyebrow, her eyes sparkling.
“With any other men,” I finish, lifting an eyebrow.
Her expression softens and her hands come up, resting on my biceps. “I hate that you pushed me away, Noah.”
“I know. It won’t ever happen again.”
“How do I know that?”
I sigh, knowing I need to prove my feelings to her. My brother was right; I need to man up. Can’t just be all talk, no action. Sweet words, no follow through. I hold her tighter. “Give me time to show you, babe. Things between us happened fast. We just skipped a whole bunch of steps and now we’re here. I can’t go back and undo the past but I can prove to you going forward that I’m yours. That we will figure this out. That I don’t expect you to drop your career or change your dreams because of my job. We’re a team, Indy. We just need to communicate better.”
She nods into my chest, the material of my jacket slipping against her chin. “So you’re not going to say anything when I pack a backpack and take eight kids to South Asia in three weeks?”
I cringe. Fuck, I forgot about her trip. A flicker of worry snakes through me. How am I going to let my pregnant girl go to a developing country in her first trimester?
“Noah?” she prods.
“No, I’m going to say a lot of things, Indy.” I feel her stiffen in my arms but I just hold her tighter. “But I trust you. Let’s just check with a doctor first, make sure you have everything you need before your trip, and