fell away from Ben’s face as he took a step back and gripped the edge of the countertop behind him for balance.
Holding up his hand, Ben aimed his palm toward Bull, and then lowered his ring and middle finger as he moved his hand back and forth. Another I love you sign.
Swallowing heavily, Bull tried to remain in control as Ben pointed to himself again, fingerspelled “l-o-v-e,” and then pointed to Bull.
The mental reins he usually held to slow things to Ben’s comfortable pace threatened to snap. His breath remained lodged in his throat as Ben took a step forward, reached up, and held his face. They stared at each other. The pain, the sadness, the defeat in those green pools were replaced with an ultra-bright light of happiness and hope that brought tears to Bull’s eyes.
Ben’s lips parted on a deep breath. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He hesitated for a moment before continuing…
“I…” Ben cleared his throat as a flush of color smeared his cheeks. “I…love…you…Gabriel.”
Bull’s mind was slow catching up…
The sound of Ben’s voice.
Those words.
The raw honesty in the slow smile twitching the corner of Ben’s mouth.
It hit him all at once.
The breath sawed in and out of Bull’s lungs and his knees buckled, dropping him to the kitchen floor. He wrapped his arms around Ben’s legs and held him, replaying the sound of Ben’s voice as he said those words to him.
Over and over again.
Without question, Ben choosing to speak was the pinnacle of trust for him.
He glanced up at Ben when he moved in his grasp and knelt on the floor in front of him.
“Four times. You told me you loved me…four times,” Bull signed and smiled.
Ben half smiled, his eyes glassy as he signed. “It was too important and worth repeating. I’ll write a note out too if you want.” Ben ducked his head for a moment and trapped his bottom lip between his teeth. Glancing back up, there was a hint of hesitation before Ben signed again. “Did I say it right? I always had trouble with my Ls and I know I was probably too loud. Kids used to make fun of me in school for that.”
He cupped Ben’s face. Not only had Ben trusted him enough to speak again after all these years, but he had chosen those words to say.
To. Him.
“It was perfect. You’re perfect.” He pressed a tender kiss to Ben’s lips. “I love you,” he finally said the words—out loud—to the man he loved.
“I know,” Ben signed. “You say it with your eyes and smile.”
He struggled to swallow past the knot in his throat. He closed his eyes as Ben slowly traced a fingertip along his jawline and down his throat. The reverence in that gesture was more than a tender caress.
It was more than a casual touch.
He felt the words and signed declaration as those fingertips grazed his skin.
He took a deep breath, relishing the power of the gentle contact and its meaning.
It was another way Ben expressed his love. Their private sign that screamed louder than all the sounds humanly possible combined.
Arms slid around him, pulling him into an embrace.
He buried his nose at the crook of Ben’s neck, holding him close, not caring about the remnants of sticky syrup on their bodies, the mess that needed cleaning, or the hard kitchen floor tiles pressing against their knees.
All that mattered was Ben and the love surrounding them.
The lunch rush was dying down, but Bull still had a few customers in line hurrying to return to their offices. Midday at the shop during the rush had become part of his routine and helped break things up during his day. Focusing his attention too long on the same building plans for a security assessment often blurred details, and he worried about overlooking something important. The interaction with customers served as a reset button, often giving him a chance to return to his assessments with a more critical eye.
Ben brought out another tray as Nat made room in the display case. Bull stared at the flex of muscles in Ben’s bicep as he held the tray over Nat’s head while she ducked out of his way.
“Mmm. Those look good.”
He tore his attention away from Ben and smiled at the customer. Damn right they do. But he was pretty sure the customer was referring to the cupcakes Ben had just set in the display case and not the flex of muscles in Ben’s arms.