she wielded with almost as much precision as their mom.
“Family is important. She wants you to be there.” Ben scraped his teeth along his bottom lip. “You don’t…have to take me with you if you don’t want to.”
Bull’s scowl deepened as the movement of Ben’s hands slowed. Family was paramount to Ben, and he still ached at the loss of his relationship with his sister. But that last comment was what struck Bull the hardest.
“It has absolutely nothing to do with you. My dad thinks he can force me to be someone I’m not. The friction between us has been there for years, and it’s gotten worse since Mom died.”
“Family is important,” Ben insisted, his signing fast and strong. “You should go to the dinner. I can stay here.” And there it was again, the wash of sadness across Ben’s features.
Nat had officially topped his shit list.
It took every ounce of strength and control from his reserve to keep his shit together. “If I go…” Bull couldn’t stress the if any more if he tried. “Do you want to go with me?”
The spark of hope in Ben’s eyes squeezed his heart.
His father would be on a mission to snuff out that joy in no time flat. But if Bull didn’t go to that dinner or chose to go but didn’t take Ben with him, Ben would find some way to blame himself. And that wasn’t an option.
“Fair warning…” he said, waiting for Ben’s full attention. “My dad comes off as nice and polite, but he’s real smooth about jabbing a knife in your heart when he says things. If he turns that knife on you, we leave. Period. I don’t want you to argue with me on that.”
He closed his eyes when Ben reached up and flattened his palm against his cheek and nodded. Turning his face, he kissed Ben’s palm, then leaned into his touch, reveling in the contact. He stared into those green eyes, knowing he would do anything for this man.
“I’m proud of you and of everything you’ve accomplished in the last few months. I’m grateful every single day you choose to be with me. Don’t ever let anyone make you second-guess that. Okay?”
A slow nod was his reply.
He slid his arms around Ben’s waist and pulled him closer as he spoke, keeping just enough distance between them for Ben to read his lips. “I promised we would move at your speed, so I hold back sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you by my side.”
Ben pulled his hands away to sign, “I don’t want you holding back. If you want to kiss or touch me at the shop, I would be okay with that.”
“Just…okay?” He arched an eyebrow.
Ben’s lips thinned, hiding a smile. “More than okay.”
Bull leaned in and pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips. “I’m going to be that annoying itch that doesn’t seem to go away.” He pressed another kiss to the side of Ben’s neck, smiling at the chuckle he drew. He inched back, his pulse spiking at the playful spark that had returned to Ben’s green eyes. “I’m getting His and His shirts for us this week. It’s going to be part of the shop uniform.”
The huge beaming smile aimed at him was breathtaking.
“I want you to take that chocolate syrup again and write ‘he’s mine’ across my chest before I call housekeeping up here so they see it and know exactly what we were doing in here.”
The hysterical laughter was music to his ears.
He held Ben’s face, stroking his cheek. Ben hooked his hands around Bull’s wrists, holding him in place as they held each other’s gaze.
Bull wanted to say the words out loud. Wanted to scream them, sign them, and write them on every inch of the room so Ben never questioned how he felt about him. But doing that now would appear as if he were only saying them because of what had happened. And there was no way he was fueling any more doubt in Ben’s mind.
Instead, he silently whispered the words to himself, just as he had done so many times before.
Something shifted in Ben’s gaze as he took a deep breath and eased his hands off Bull’s wrists. Ben pointed his finger to his own chest, fisted his hands, and then crossed his wrists over his heart before pointing at Bull, signing those three same words Bull had thought of endless times but hadn’t dared voice. I love you.