Even Koru smells of cookies, along with his aftershave. Light surrounds you all, but especially you, Honey.”
He caught her gaze and held it. “You know why I think I kissed Cathryn? Because I wanted to see if she still had any power over me. It’s not an excuse and I’m ashamed of it, but seeing her there standing outside the school, I didn’t feel pleasure or excitement, just dread. And she gave me a similar talk to what she gave you, about sex and how good it had been, and part of me remembered how she’d had this hold over me, and I suppose I wanted to see if any of that still remained. So when she kissed me, for a brief second I didn’t pull away. But I didn’t feel happy or turned on. I felt disgusted and dirty, and terribly, terribly unhappy that I’d done something that might have hurt you. It lasted seconds and I walked off and left her there, which made me feel a bit guilty at first, but now, knowing what she said to you, I wish I’d driven her to Cape Reinga and let her walk home.”
Honey swallowed and finally dropped her gaze.
“I’m not trying to make excuses,” he whispered. “Or to say what I did was justified. Or to say that there’s an evil demon inside of me and it’s all his fault—although that’s what it feels like sometimes. All I can say is that I regret what I did deeply, and I hate her for coming to see you and for making you feel bad. But I don’t want to think about her. I love you, Honey Summers, and I want to marry you and carry on loving you every day for the rest of your life. I know you’re not perfect, any more than I am. But you’re sweet, gentle, kind and loving. You’d be a wonderful mother to my children, and if you became my wife, I’d want to grab a loudspeaker and shout it to the world.”
She started to cry, and he gave into his urge to take her in his arms. She curled up against him, pulling his jacket close around her, and sobbed into his shirt, and he let her, holding her securely, kissing the top of her head and murmuring soft words of comfort until she finally quieted.
“Can I take you home now?” he asked her.
She nodded, wiping her face on his sleeve, so he stood and pulled her up with him, kept a tight arm around her and started to lead her back to the house.
Once they’d cleared the bush and started up the paddocks to Stormwind, she began to lean more heavily on him, and when he looked down he saw she was nearly asleep. The emotion had worn her out, and the whiskey was finally taking its toll.
Bending and slipping an arm under her legs, he lifted her into his arms and carried her the short distance to the house.
As he neared the large glass sliding doors at the back, they slid open and Cam and Koru came out, concern on their faces.
“She’s okay,” Dex said. “Just tired. Shall I take her to her room?”
Cam nodded, and Dex carried her through the living room, noting that all the girls save Daisy were there, watching him cautiously as he passed by. He didn’t say anything but took her through to the west wing of the house, hearing Cam behind him talking to the girls.
He walked along the corridor to her room, pushed open the door and carried her to the bed. The moonlight streamed through the curtains and fell across the cover in a sheet of silver.
He bent and pulled back the duvet and laid her carefully on the mattress, removing his jacket from her shoulders, and covered her over. Then he kissed her cheek.
She opened her eyes. “Don’t go.”
He studied her for a moment. “You want me to sleep next door?” Daisy’s room lay empty unless she came back for a visit.
“Here,” Honey said.
For the first time that evening, emotion overwhelmed Dex and he had to swallow down the lump in his throat. He nodded and toed off his shoes, took off his tie and hung the jacket over the chair in front of the dressing table. Then he climbed onto the bed—on top of the duvet—and lay next to her. He lifted his arm and she curled up beside him, and he laid his arm around her and pulled her tightly