finally realize why we’re here.
We come to a stop and Daddy opens my door and helps me out of the truck. My brothers all hug me, careful not to squeeze me too tight. West hands me a small wooden box, and I frown and burst into tears, confused. There’s no baby for us to bury, just a fetus that was likely thrown out as medical waste with half of my reproductive organs.
“Colt made it.”
I shake my head, looking at Colt. “What is it?”
“It’s just some of things we bought for our Jellybean. I thought we could bury them at the base of our tree, so we’ve always got somewhere to come and visit.” His voice breaks over the last few words and I hold him tightly.
“That’s really beautiful.”
“Your daddy made the headstone.”
I bite my lip to keep from falling apart, but the fact that Colt and Daddy went to so much effort to give us a place to visit with our Jellybean, it opens the floodgates, and they don’t stop as every member of my family says a few words in eulogy.
A little of the numbness I felt since learning I lost a baby I didn’t even want vanishes. It hurts like hell, and it’s just a taste of what’s to come. Because I know now that I have to leave Colt to save him from a life with me, in order to give him the kind of life he deserves.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Lemon
Colt didn’t show for breakfast at six, and he isn’t here now for Mama’s hot lunch like the rest of the boys. I take my seat and sip my sweet tea, but I really only pick at the food on my plate. I know he’s angry and I try not to be upset about it, but I’ve been playing that scene yesterday over and over in my head, and I don’t know where to begin. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I wanted to keep kissing him, I wanted to do a lot more than kissing, but one of us has to start thinking clearly. As much as I cherish what happened that night after Earl’s, we can’t just pick up where we left off twelve years ago. There’s a whole lotta hurt under that bridge, and I don’t know if either one of us can make it right.
“I can only assume Colt not being here all day means someone dang wore him out yesterday.” Wade winks at me, Wyatt chuckles, and I see red.
I try not to take Colt’s absence personally, but it cuts me to the core. Of course, it isn’t helped by my brothers giving me and the empty seat beside me sidelong looks. I’m used to them poking fun, but today, I’ve had enough.
“Would you two grow up?” I demand, standing so abruptly my chair hits the floor with a clatter.
“Lemon Emersyn Winchester,” Mama scolds.
I swallow hard and whisper, “Sorry, Mama.”
Before I can mouth off at Wade again, West punches him in the arm. “Knock it off.”
Wade’s brow creases and he looks at our older brother like he just drove a knife right through his chest. “What? I was just—”
“You’re just gettin’ on everyone’s last nerve,” West chides. Wade opens his mouth to protest, but West shuts him down. “From now on, no more ribbing Lemon and Colt. They got some things to sort out, and until they do, they don’t need none of y’all makin’ things worse.”
Wyatt raises his brows and locks eyes with me. He’s usually the first one I talk to, so I’m not sure whether he’s more shocked or insulted to find that I’ve been talking to West about this mess.
“Y’all hear me?”
The boys—including Cash—all bow their heads and murmur their acquiescence, but it seems West isn’t quite done. “Now, apologize to your sister.”
Wade and Wyatt both glare at him and then a quick glance in Mama’s direction sees them following orders. “Sorry, Lemon,” they mutter.
Cash just sits opposite me with a huge grin on his face. Carla’s right. He really is a cocky cowboy.
A horse whinnies in the stable and a beat later the sound of thundering hooves retreat from the house. I stand and walk away from the table, out through the back door, and into the yard and stable beyond. I tack up Teraway and pull her into the yard. Climbing up into her saddle, I take the reins and dig my heels into her sides before I really have the chance to reconsider what I’m