Civil War game. This matchup is going to be intense and everyone needs to be on their game, especially Cash. Oregon State is a huge rival of ours and the game is at home so we have that going for us. I haven’t smoked in days and it’s starting to wear on my nerves, I feel like I’ve been off my game until I’m on the field. That’s the only time I feel a sense of calm come over me since I haven’t been getting high.
My phone starts buzzing beside me. I pick it up and see that it’s Madison.
“Yo.”
“Come over?” She sounds sad.
“Give me a few.” I hang up not waiting for her response. I’m not surprised she didn’t go home. Madison probably talked to her mom and found out Macy was going back and decided she would just stay here.
I toss the ball on my bed; grab my truck keys and wallet and head to the only diner in town that’s open.
After ordering two turkey sandwiches I head over to Madison’s place. It’s not Thanksgiving dinner but it’s close enough and I really don’t think she’ll care. I know I don’t.
Of course when I arrive at Madison’s she’s smoking from a bong and her room is filled with smoke. She’s really taking this final split with Cash hard. I think she finally realizes that she’s pushed him too far this time. He knows everything now, the drugs, the alcohol and the cheating. A little part of me thinks Cash knew but he wasn’t willing to admit it. He can’t hide from it now that other people know.
“What did you expect him to do?” I ask, taking the bong from Madison.
“I don’t know?” she says looking away. “He’s never actually been this pissed off before.”
I don’t know what she wants me to say so I say nothing. She had to know that this would all come to a head and blow up.
Madison is lying back on her bed staring up at her ceiling for a while. Every once in a while she’d look in my direction to make sure I was still here.
I do what I can for her, make her laugh, and comfort her just by being there. Every time I’ve needed her, she’s been there. It’s the least I can do to return the favor.
For a moment, I hesitate when I look at the bong she has out.
Only for a moment.
And then I cave inhaling as much as I can until nothing matters. It relaxes the both of us. We eat the sandwiches I bought and then I fall asleep on her bed. I wake around one from Madison tossing and turning so much and go back to my room.
As I open the door to my dorm room, I see Colton sound asleep and realize that should be me. But now, I spent the night getting high knowing damn well we have a game tomorrow and I’m going to be tested.
I fucked up. I fucked up big time.
That’s me, Landon “the fuck up” Hayes.
November 29, 2013
Eugene, Oregon
Civil War Game
I barely slept when I got home from Madison’s last night. I knew the second I saw Colton asleep that I should have been here hours ago with him. My head wasn’t on right though and I fucked up.
When I get to the locker room I change into my uniform. I finish off a bottle of Gatorade and I walk over to toss it in the trash but I stop in my tracks. Cash has red welts covering his face, his lips are swollen and cracked, and his eye is swollen too with a deep purple mark lining the creases. I want to ask him if he feels better after getting his ass kicked but I don’t. I really want to say I fucking told you so but he could say the same for me and all the fucked up shit I’ve done. Instead I just walk away. I know what battles to pick and which ones to stay away from.
We’re all suited up and standing in the tunnel ready to run out onto the field in front of sixty-thousand screaming fans, people from all over who have come to watch the Beavers battle it out with us.
The first half of the game is tied. Cash finds me open and we score two touchdowns and a field goal in the first two quarters but the Beavers scored the same in just the second quarter.