I’m scared to ever have children,” Bonnie said. “She told Rusty that I didn’t have anything to draw on, and she’s right. Look at my parents—Ezra and Vivien. At least y’all had good mothers to balance out what Ezra donated to the gene pool.”
“Maybe, you take a lesson from them on how not to be,” Shiloh offered. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
“If I’m pregnant, it’ll be the new baby Jesus. I haven’t had sex since I got here,” Bonnie said bluntly. “I’m just saying that any man in his right mind would never want a relationship with me if they truly understood my background.”
“Don’t be thinkin’ that,” Shiloh said. “I’ve seen the love you shower on a baby calf, or even the dogs. You’ll be a great mother.”
“Amen.” Abby Joy added her two cents. “And besides, we’ve all got each other to help us learn the ropes on parenthood. I, for one, am glad that you didn’t let your mother talk you into leaving us. We’ve proved that we belong together right here in this canyon.”
“Yep,” Shiloh said.
“Thank you both.” Bonnie raised her head and wiped away the tears flowing down her cheeks. “Right now, I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”
“Well, that’s settled,” Abby Joy declared. “So now let’s get on with some grocery shopping and talking about these sparks I keep feeling between you and Rusty.”
“Good Lord!” Bonnie said. “One thing at a time. I need to process all this before I move on to my feelings for Rusty.”
“At least you admit and recognize that the feelings are there, so that’s a start.” Abby Joy reached for the last piece of toast.
“And that’s a big step for me,” Bonnie admitted.
Chapter Nine
Bonnie had a lot of time to think as she drove a tractor around the field that afternoon. Rusty was just over the barbed wire fence on the next twenty acres cutting hay, just like she was doing—like they’d both done the day before. The difference was that they weren’t fighting now, and every so often, they were even close enough to wave at each other.
In between those times, she replayed the morning over and over again in her mind. It was so surreal that she could almost believe it had never happened—that it was just a bad nightmare. Of all the crazy stunts Vivien had ever pulled, this one was the most insane. Bonnie slapped the steering wheel with both hands when she realized that her mother was the very reason Rusty might want to be with her?
“It better not be because you felt sorry for me. I don’t want your pity,” she muttered.
Her phone rang and she picked it up from the passenger seat. When her mother’s name came up, she answered immediately. “Did you change your mind? Where are you? I’ll come get you.”
“Hell, no, I ain’t changed my mind,” Vivien said. “I’m on my way to California. I’m not about to change my mind. I’m stopped at a roadside rest outside of Clovis to catch a catnap in the bed of the truck. I brought along a sleeping bag, and I’m dog-tired. I’m calling to ask you one more time to come with me.”
“Answer is still no. I’m happy right here where I am, Mama, but I’ll drive to Clovis and get you if you’ll change your mind. You can work with us here on the place or get a job in Claude or somewhere close and just live here if you don’t want to do ranch work,” Bonnie told her.
“No, thanks. I washed my hands of that place when you was born,” Vivien said. “Rusty seems like a good guy, but Ezra trained him, so keep that in mind. Make him sign a prenup before you marry him so he don’t steal half the place from you. Even good men ain’t to be trusted. You be real careful. There ain’t no such thing as an honest man.”
Bonnie sucked in a long breath to say something else, but then she realized that her mother had hung up on her. She slapped the steering wheel again, stopped the engine, and got out of the tractor. Tears ran down her cheeks—Lord have mercy! She’d cried more in the past few days than she had in her whole life put together. She shook her fist at the sky. Just when she thought she had left the past behind her, its ugly old head had popped right up again, coming at her this time as doubts and