your head on straight,” Dad says as we wait for the audition. We are sitting in a large foyer in the Benaroya Hall, waiting to be called in.
“I know. Dad, I won’t mess this up.”
“I know you won’t, but you don’t get a lot of shots like this, either. It’s not every day a spot opens up in a world-class symphony. And the fact you’ve had two other chances...”
“Dad, I know. I’m just going in there and will do my best. I can’t have you stressing me out right before I go in to audition. I already feel like crap that we haven’t been practicing for Anna’s wedding.”
My dad is a really talented cellist. But after my sister and I were born, he took a position at his father’s investment group and stopped playing.
He’s the only reason I started playing. I remember when I was little he would tell me he would never let me quit my dreams, no matter how life got in the way.
“We will focus on the wedding later,” he says. “Today is about you. We can play that piece for her ceremony half-asleep and drunk.”
I raise an eyebrow at Dad. He listens to me practice every single day, and he never, ever messes around.
“Was that a joke, Dad?”
He shrugs, adjusting his tie. He left the office to come here with me today, and I see worry lines on his face. If we were going to share a deeper moment, now is not the time because I am called into the theater.
My hands are shaky, I’m unnerved. If I fail again, I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to pick myself back up.
Then I close my eyes for a moment and remember Aiden. His hands on my hands, his mouth on my mouth. His heart in my heart.
I’m no longer scared; I’ve worked my entire life for this. I walk onstage, a smile spreading over my face.
I can do this.
Before I begin, the panel asks me a few questions about myself and I try my best to answer them politely and professionally.
Then I pick up my bow and place it on the strings.
Then I begin to play my heart out.
I think about Aiden caressing me. About his eyes searching my eyes. About his arms reaching around my waist, holding me tight, refusing to let go.
I play like I have never played before.
My father may have pressured me in the past, but this audition isn’t about anything of that.
This is about me.
What I want.
When I finish, tears that I didn’t expect fill my eyes.
Today I did my best.
I won’t hear about the audition for a week, so now all I can do is hope that my best was enough.
And get ready for the family wedding of the year.
Aiden said he was going to fly in tonight. But then he texted and let me know his flight was canceled and that he wouldn’t be here until tomorrow.
I understand that. He’s coming all the way from Alaska, on a last minute trip. And I want to believe that it’s as simple as that.
But of course, my mom and sister assume the worst.
They assume that Aiden isn’t real. To make matters worse they’ve seated Peter next to me at the dinner anyway.
I can’t believe they did that, it’s as if they assumed my “make-believe” date wouldn’t show.
Having come to the wedding is one thing, after all, he’s a family and went to college with Donovan. But having him here tonight? What if Aiden had arrived?
“Mom, this is a new low,” I tell her stiffly as I realize where she has seated me.
“Well, I can’t have my daughter sitting by herself can I?”
I will myself not to roll eyes.
“So, is your date actually going to come tomorrow?” Mom chides me. “Because it is going to mess up the headcount if he doesn’t.”
“Yes, Mom, he is.”
My sister comes over to us at the posh restaurant in downtown Seattle. “What are you guys talking about over here in the corner?” She frowns, grabbing my hand. “Come, be social. You missed the bachelorette party last week, the least you could do is try to be friendly now.”
I clench my jaw and adjust the belt on my dress. I missed the party because it was the night before my audition. Of course, she has forgotten that now and only seems to remember what I didn’t do.
“Lead the way, Anna,” I tell my sister, not wanting to argue the night before her big day.
I spend the