The Summer of Sunshine and Margot - Susan Mallery Page 0,127
before and see if they were able to fake their way through the first few awkward days. Maybe it wouldn’t be so horrible. Maybe they could pretend to forget that single phone call and nothing would have to change.
She knew she was wishing for the moon, but didn’t know what else to do. The situation was impossible. If only she’d fallen for someone else, someone she could meet and date and have a real relationship with. But she hadn’t and now she was stuck not only with her concerns about the future, but her fears about Declan. Because in all of this, she had no idea what he thought of her and what he expected when he got home. She could make all the plans she wanted, but except for simply walking away, she didn’t get to execute any of them in a vacuum. For all she knew, Declan had used her to get off and thought of her as little more than a piece of ass. And if that were true, then she was about to experience a heartbreak, the likes of which she’d never seen before.
* * *
Alec told himself he liked the quiet. With Margot gone, there were no more daily lessons, no extra set of footsteps on the stairs, no conversation in the evening, no interruptions at all. It was pleasant. Once his mother moved out, his life would return to what it had always been and he would be content.
He had to admit, if only to himself, that he’d expected Bianca to seek him out. He felt sure she would want to talk to him about Margot, but for the past two days, he hadn’t seen her, either. Her car was still parked outside, so he knew she was somewhere, but she kept to herself. Which was what he preferred.
Alec crossed to the window and looked out at the garden. All right—he would admit to some...restlessness. He’d grown used to having Margot in his life. It was possible he missed her more than he’d thought he would. It had been nearly three days and he’d yet to sleep. Getting in his bed reminded him too much of her, and his office couch was not that comfortable. Plus, every time he turned around, he saw another spot where they had made love. His desk, the kitchen counter, his bed, his bathroom, her bed, the living room, outside.
Still, the quiet was pleasant and in time he would be able to focus on his work again. And eat. Eventually the dull ache in his chest would fade. It wasn’t as if he’d been in love with her. He’d enjoyed her company—that was all. She’d been different from other women he’d known with her sharp mind and accepting nature. It made sense he might regret the loss of her companionship. Biologically he would miss the sexual release. Everything he was feeling was totally normal.
Without thinking, he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It would be so easy to call her, to tell her he’d made a mistake, that he wanted her back.
He thought about hearing her voice and wished she was with him, quiet be damned. Only it wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. The price was too high. She had changed him. Or maybe he’d changed himself. Regardless, he was different and he didn’t like that. What was next? He would stop paying his bills on time? He would start making a spectacle of himself wherever he went?
He returned to his desk and opened his laptop. He would lose himself in work, just as he had always done. Eventually memories of her would fade and he would go on as before. After all, his life was better when it was quiet.
* * *
Declan accepted that he’d totally screwed up everything with Sunshine. That one night had changed everything between them and now he worried that there was no going back.
It was his own damn fault, he thought grimly as he waited outside the elementary school for Connor to get out of class. He knew Sunshine, knew what she wanted, knew what she feared. She wanted to be taken seriously, to be respected. She wanted normal and he’d given her phone sex.
Even as he thought about that night, he winced. What the hell had he been thinking? They weren’t dating. They weren’t lovers. In the right context, phone sex could be fun, but they weren’t involved that way. He’d treated her like some 900 number