The Summer of Sunshine and Margot - Susan Mallery Page 0,126

couple of extra sessions and they had made all the difference. Now, as the professor reminded them of what they’d studied, Sunshine was able to keep up easily.

She was going to do it, she thought happily. She was going to pass the class, and with a good grade. She had confirmation for her summer school class and had already signed up for a study group. Yes, she had miles to go before earning her degree, but she’d taken the first steps and she was proud of herself.

As she walked through the pretty campus on the way to her car, she admitted that she was less excited about other aspects of her life. Declan would be home in a couple of days and she honestly had no idea what she was going to say to him.

There was no taking back what had happened and she didn’t think ignoring it was going to work, either. While the phone sex had been fun and exciting and had made her feel closer to him, she also knew it had changed everything, and not for the better. Her brief morning-after text of That was great, but we should probably not do that again had been met with a return text of nothing more than I agree. A response that left her with a lot more questions than answers.

She got to her car and tossed her backpack in the rear seat before getting behind the wheel. But instead of driving away, she sat there, confused and scared.

She’d crossed the line. In that single phone call she’d gone from professional nanny to what she’d always been. The girl out for the good time, the flighty, irresponsible pleasure-seeker willing to ignore her responsibilities and run off with some guy.

Declan wasn’t asking her to get on the back of a motorcycle and ride away, but that didn’t change her part in things. She’d made herself a promise and she’d broken it. Her issues weren’t about his behavior but about her own.

What if she couldn’t change? What if she was always going to be that girl? She wanted to say this time was different because her feelings were different. She didn’t just think Declan would be a good time—she cared about him. She was probably in love with him.

Sunshine let that sink in, prepared to turn the information over and see how it resonated, only she didn’t have to. As soon as the thought formed, she knew it was true. She was in love with Declan. She probably had been for a while. And why wouldn’t she be? He was loveworthy. As for Connor, well, she’d been a goner from day one.

Great. So she loved them both. Now what? If she was going to be a different and better person, what did that different and better person think she should do? Leave? Stay? And if she stayed, how would that work? Would she have a torrid affair with Declan? Let things run their natural course and then when it was over, they would go back to what they had been?

Unlikely. They could start by pretending that call hadn’t occurred, but that wasn’t going to work, either. All it would take was a look or a touch and they would be all over each other. He obviously found her attractive and wanted her in his bed and she wasn’t sure how long she could say no. Which made her what? The slutty nanny sleeping with the boss?

And if staying wasn’t an option, didn’t that just leave walking away? She leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to not see Connor anymore. She didn’t want to not be a part of his life. He needed her and she needed him. Even if she could run away from Declan, she wasn’t sure she could disappear on Connor.

Even saying goodbye the right way would be impossible. Was she supposed to sit him down and tell him that in a few days he would have a new nanny? Was she going to interview other women for the job, knowing they would be staying in her room, cooking for her family, picking up Connor from school and helping him with his ant farm?

She opened her eyes and stared out the windshield. There was no good answer. The worst part was the problem was of her own making. She had no one else to blame. She supposed the best, albeit temporary, solution was to go on as