The Summer I Learned to Dive - By Shannon McCrimmon Page 0,55

didn’t have much of a defense, only that she was trying to protect me. I have no idea why she would need to protect me from them, though.” A single tear fell from my eye. Jesse took his thumb and wiped it off my face. It was both sweet and intimate, very intimate, like we had just shared the most private moment two people who like each other can share. My insides did a belly flop. My emotions were a wreck. I couldn’t get a grasp on containing myself. Talking to him about what my mom did, about her lying to me was hard enough. Having him in such close proximity to me and touching me so intimately was even more difficult.

I took a deep breath, trying to get some air back into my system. “When I found out that they wanted to know me, I bought a bus ticket and left Tampa in the middle of the night,” I admitted. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“That’s brave,” he said.

“Yeah or crazy, I don’t know which,” I laughed. “I showed up telling them I had just found out after all this time that they wanted to know me. They welcomed me with open arms,” I said. “Well, Grandpa was skeptical at first.” Jesse and I both laughed thinking of Charlie’s head strong disposition.

“I don’t understand why your mom kept them from you,” Jesse said.

I shrugged. “I don’t either. They’re good people. It makes me resent her for what I’ve missed out on. They could have been a part of my life all this time,” I said becoming angry.

“It doesn’t do you any good to resent people, Finn. That anger you feel for her will continue to fester and will eat you alive,” he said.

I sat with my knees pressed against my chest, my arms wrapped around them.

Jesse took out the sandwiches Nana had made and handed me one. We ate in silence, enjoying the natural sounds around us. I felt relaxed. The sound of the waterfall flowing into the pool of water was soothing, almost trance like. I finally felt like speaking.

“It’s really beautiful, Jesse,” I said.

“I love being here. This is where I go to think, to get away from stressful things,” he said. “Sometimes it’s hard living with an alcoholic,” he said openly and unabashed.

“I’m sorry,” I couldn’t think of any other consoling thing to say.

“Don’t be. He’s been a drunk since my mom died. The irony is my mom was killed by a drunk driver,” he said looking directly into my eyes. “Wouldn’t you think that’d make him detest the sight of alcohol? He’s just not strong enough to deal with the fact that she’s gone,” he said almost desperately with a pained expression.

I reached over to hug him. I held onto him feeling his warmth. He held me tight as if he were too afraid to let go. I raised my head, looking up at him, into his blue eyes. He stared down at me and moved closer to me, so close that our lips touched. He softly kissed me, tenderly and with so much care, as if I were a fragile package he didn’t want to break. His arms were still around me. His hands grasped more firmly onto my back. My breath was nearly taken away. Every nerve in my body was aware of his proximity, of his touch. This should have been my first kiss, not the sloppy unwanted kiss I had with Dylan. My stomach was torn into knots. My heart beat rapidly. I thought it might walk itself off my chest and into his palms forever. He moved his hand to my face and gently brushed his fingers against my cheek.

“You are so beautiful, Finn” he said looking into my eyes. I felt lost in his eyes, transfixed. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he admitted. I blushed, embarrassed but I don’t know why. There was nothing embarrassing about the fact that he liked me as much as I liked him.

“I’m glad you finally did,” I said. There was no lying with Jesse, and if this was the beginning of love, then I was game.

***

The hike back didn’t feel rushed or difficult. We held hands the entire way, stealing glances at each other, enjoying the moment, the euphoric feeling. It felt natural and normal, as if it was the way it had always been. We talked about our hopes and dreams. He was so smart. He knew so