got up to, it was frisky enough to make you blush in my company.”
Eleanor’s cheeks burned. “Your wife is right. You sound like a gypsy fortune teller.”
“I suppose if my enterprise of diamonds fails, I could earn my keep that way.” Jethro laughed.
I chuckled, squeezing Eleanor’s knee under the table. “I believe I won our bet, Jinx.”
Eleanor narrowed her eyes. “In the words of Kes Hawk...cheater.”
“I didn’t cheat. I just had insider knowledge.” I chuckled. “But I’m still going to make you pay.”
Eleanor blushed harder. “I’m not discussing orgasm payments at the breakfast table.”
Jethro burst into laughter.
Nila giggled and kindly changed the subject. “Do you have children of your own?”
Eleanor rubbed at her flaming cheek, grateful for the topic switch. “No. We don’t. And please don’t say the politically correct ‘Oh, I’m sorry’. Don’t be. It’s a personal choice.”
“A joint decision.” I squeezed Eleanor’s knee again. “We currently have over four hundred rescues under our protection with more arriving every week. That is where our heart lies. With the abused, unwanted, and homeless.”
“I love that.” Nila smiled. “You get to nurture something that desperately needs it.”
Eleanor nodded. “Give me any kind of creature, and I have an unbearable need to care and snuggle and protect. But give me a child, and I don’t know what to do with it.” She laughed gently. “I’m not maternal for my own kind.”
Nila returned Eleanor’s laugh. “I completely understand, especially now that I’m a mother, I can safely say that sometimes I look at wild animals and think they’re so much better behaved than my own offspring. Even though they drive me loopy, I love them with everything that I am.”
My mind turned inward, recalling the conversation Eleanor and I had shared two years or so into our marriage. I’d never once, in all my years, ever wanted a kid of my own. Why the hell would I want to add to the already overpopulated human race when I couldn’t stand us as a species? My legacy and fortune had already been bequeathed to shelters and my own personal rescue charities, so I didn’t need an heir to inherit.
It never occurred to me to have the conversation about children with my wife.
Our world was perfect. Nothing was missing.
But it’d been Cal who told me I should at least ask Eleanor. That it wasn’t normal for a couple not to discuss the choice to breed or not.
It’d taken a few nights to get up the courage. What if Eleanor did want kids? Where did that leave us? The thought of putting her at risk with impregnation? Of watching her be in pain? I despised the thought of it. But I’d forced myself to ask on a particularly romantic evening on our deck overlooking Nirvana. A pair of macaws got frisky in a palm tree above our heads, giving me a sign to ask a troubling question.
I’d turned to Jinx, swallowed back my fear, and asked, “Do you want children, Eleanor?”
She’d frozen.
Our ease and drowsiness from a delicious dinner vanished as she bolted off her lounger and paced in front of me. Raking hands through her hair, she’d licked her lips and made me wait for an agonising few minutes.
I’d tried to read her.
Tried to figure out what the panic on her face meant. Did she desperately want them and didn’t have the courage to tell me? Did she hate me for not asking sooner—
“Do you want kids?” she’d fired back, wringing her hands, her grey eyes dark with worry.
“I asked you first.” I sat up, clasping my hands between my legs as I swung my feet to the deck. “Yes or no?”
She swallowed hard, forcing herself to be truthful. Her shoulders braced as she blurted, “It goes without saying that I want you to be happy, and if you want kids, then...I suppose we can discuss options like adoption or...I don’t know.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “But if I’m being honest about what I want, I have no interest in children of my own. None. Zip. Never.” She stood trembling, waiting for me to stand and pad barefoot toward her.
Cupping her cheek, I nuzzled her nose with mine. “Well, thank fuck for that.”
She almost puddled at my feet in relief. “You’re saying you don’t want them either?”
“Never in a million years.”
“So you’re fine, just us?”
“I’m fine with you.” I kissed her hard. “I’m fine with our rescues and our animals and our family as it stands with Pika, Skittles, Cal, and Jess.” I