back. Lesson learned.
And why was I still thinking of this?
After a quick shower, I shoved all thoughts of my past away and hit the sac. I needed to focus on the future, not the past.
Even if Laurel was right, and I was ready to move on and start dating again, I highly doubted Avery was the girl. Something about her struck me as unattainable, purposely out of reach. She didn’t seem like the dating type. Or maybe she was still playing the field. She was definitely a few years younger, so that made sense.
The fact that she didn't seem into anything serious worked to my advantage. We could have something casual and fun. No need for things to get awkward.
And despite her objections, there was something there, something that made her breathing shift in my presence and her cheeks flush. We had chemistry, and I’d make sure she couldn’t ignore it.
We were neighbors. There were certain neighborly rules I could use to my advantage. Even if I had to borrow a cup of sugar to get her to open that door, I’d do it. And eventually, she’d open up as well.
My sister was wrong. I could do casual. Casual was fun. The hunt was fun. And Avery was a competitor.
Staring at my ceiling, I imagined all the ways I could have her. And as I closed my eyes, my sleepy brain filled with visions of Avery.
The longer I pictured her, the easier it became to note subtle details I’d overlooked, such as the cheap jewelry. The few times I’d spotted her began to add up. Was she a student? Students didn’t live in this section of the city, at least not in this building.
Her age, I decided, had to be around twenty-two, so I likely had her beat in life experience. Remembering her vulnerable eyes, my fantasy shifted from seducing her to simply comforting her.
These men were way too old for her. She should know better. I imagined kissing her and holding her, and never once would she look to me with such uncertainty because I had nothing but decent intentions. Okay, I had filthy intentions, but I’d make sure she had fun too. With all those other men, there didn’t seem to be any balance. The scales were tipped in their favor, and I wasn’t sure how, but with me, Avery would understand how dating could be fun.
10
Avery
“Would you like insurance?”
“Yes, on all six, please.” The limit for postal insurance was four hundred dollars, so I was shipping my mother six tightly taped boxes of cold, hard-earned cash. All for the price of letting some fat pig breathe into my ear at an uptown bar and stare down my cleavage while taking faceless pictures of my body for four hours.
It was worth it. I had to keep telling myself that until I believed it to be true. But my dignity took a hit this week no amount of money could compensate. It wasn’t about what others saw, but what I endured privately. I might have escaped guilt, proving I’d do more than most women would, but I’d never actually sell my body for sex. But shame was a sticky thing.
The following night I had a gala with Micah scheduled. My dress was recycled couture, and my jewels were the same paste garbage I always wore, but they looked excellent. I wore my hair slicked into a smart ponytail, and my makeup was extreme, giving me the devastating look of a woman on the catwalk in Milan.
Not wanting any drama, I decided to wait in the lobby for Micah to arrive, but Noah caught me locking up, and there was something different about the way he watched me.
His eyes were too watchful, his usual nonchalance gone. His focus unapologetically followed my every move and I hated it. I wanted the old Noah stare back, but I knew our last encounter spoiled any chance of that happening.
“Another appointment?”
My molars locked, my mood shifting from regretful to downright pissed. “Why don’t we do each other a favor and keep to our own sides of the building?”
Hands deep in his suit pockets, he held my gaze and dramatically stepped into my half of the hallway. Then he took another step. And another until he had me backed against my door.
I didn’t understand his game. Did he actually think this sort of taunting would get me into bed with him?
My chin tipped up to hold his stare. “If this is flirting, it’s not working.