that all of it?” She leveled her gaze on mine and I squirmed.
“Did you take classes as a child on how to get what you want?”
“Don’t change the subject, Samantha. What is this really about?” She leaned forward.
“I just told you!”
“You think your father would want you to miss out on something—someone—that would love you because of him? All this change, it’s scary. I get that. But it can be good, too. You don’t see it because you’re living it, but to those of us watching, it’s obvious that you were meant for this job, for this life.”
I chewed on my lip while I pondered what she was saying. “That’s pretty deep for an eighteen-year-old.”
“I might have come from a life of privilege, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any perspective.” Something in her eyes shifted and I saw a much older girl looking back at me.
“I’m scared.” I said the words in a rush. Maybe if I said it out loud it would make it less real.
“Of what, exactly?”
“Alex—it wouldn’t be a fling. It wouldn’t be simple or easy. If I let myself, I’d just end up hurt and then it would be in every newspaper and on every gossip site.”
“Why do you think Alex would hurt you?” She sat back in her seat. “No one knows Alex the way I do. When Daddy died, Alex stepped up and became the man of the house. He watched out for me and Max. Max has classic middle-child syndrome and left for school as quickly as he could, but every decision Alex has made was based on how it would affect us. And I can see how much he already cares about you. He would never do anything to hurt you.”
“Not on purpose.” I played with my napkin. “I don’t think I could handle the scrutiny, the media attention.”
“That’ll die down after a while. Or you’ll get used to it. It’s overwhelming right now, but we do have real lives. We go on vacations and sometimes have lazy Sundays like everyone else in the world.”
She didn’t understand. She’d been born into something that was so foreign to me I felt as if I’d been dropped on another planet. And Alex would break my heart—he’d have to when it came time for him to take the throne. I’d read enough in my Idiots Guide to the Monarchy that I knew he had to marry someone of royal blood who would be able to help him rule the country.
“The wheels are turning in your head; I can practically hear the gears squeak.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “You know what I think? I think you’re worried about what it would mean if it all worked out. Alex comes with some heavy baggage. Crown prince isn’t nearly as fun as they make it out to be in the storybooks. Whoever he chooses will be queen.”
I groaned. “Exactly. I’m an American, for crying out loud. Remember? The adorable little foreigner that says whatever she’s thinking? No one would accept me as their queen and God knows I wouldn’t blame them. When I think about being with Alex, I can’t just think about how he makes me feel, I have to think about how it would affect an entire country. If they reject me, he would have to leave me. And if they don’t reject me, how badly could I screw it all up?”
Cathy smiled and leaned back in her chair. “He could always abdicate.”
“Geez, Cathy, that wouldn’t make me feel like an ass or anything.” I glared at her. “Our entire relationship, I would be the reason he wasn’t king.”
“The very things that have you worried are the exact things that mean you would make an excellent queen.”
“You don’t understand. You’ve been brought up your whole life with that as a possible future. I was brought up in a land with no kings or queens. The very idea makes me nervous.”
“You do realize you’re from a line of royalty that once held the crown of Lilaria?” She snorted and picked up her plate. “Sam, get it together. Sometimes all our plans for life go to shit. You end up doing something you never dreamed of and you know what you do?”
I stood up and followed her to the sink with my plate. “What’s that, oh wise one?”
“You make the best out of it you can. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you think it will be. It’s what you