Succubus Dreams Page 0,106
"
Seth had started to slip into the rambling he sometimes did when nervous enough. He bit his lip now, as though he might summon the words back, and looked away.
"Only what?" I asked. I could barely hear my own voice.
He turned his gaze back to me, firm and unflinching. "Only...more human."
And that was it. All the anger and sorrow vanished. There was nothing in me. Nothing at all. I was empty.
"Get out," I said.
He paled. Something in my voice and expression must have been truly terrifying. Tentatively, he extended a hand.
"I never meant to hurt you. Thetis, I'm sorr - "
"Don't ever call me that again," I told him, stepping away. I didn't know how any of these words were coming out of my mouth. It was like someone else was controlling me. "Leave. Now."
He opened his mouth, and I thought all that resolve he'd just shown might crumble. In the end, it didn't.
He left.
CHAPTER 25
I'd sworn I'd never go back into my bedroom, but just then, I needed my bed. I spent the rest of the day in it, curled up in the proverbial fetal position. Much like when I'd made Seth leave, I didn't feel anything. I was dead inside. There was nothing left, nothing in my life, nothing to keep me going. Some wise part of my brain said I should cry. I knew there was grief inside of me, grief that would eventually explode. But I was blocking it for now, afraid to acknowledge that all of this was real or face the consequences. This, I realized, was why Yasmine had screamed. It was a terrible thing to be cut off from something you loved so much. To be cut off from the thing that gave your existence meaning.
Hours passed, and light and shadows moved across my bedroom as the sun began its descent. My room grew dark, but I didn't bother flipping on the lights. I didn't have the energy or motivation.
I don't know how much time passed before I heard the knock. At first, I wasn't even sure that's what it was. Then, it sounded again - definitely someone knocking on my front door. I stayed in bed, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. What if it's Seth? Some small part of me clung to that hope, that maybe he'd changed his mind. The rest of me didn't believe it. I'd seen the look in his eyes. The resolve. He wasn't coming back. And if he wasn't coming back, then there was no point in being social.
My visitor knocked a third time, louder still. Beside me, Aubrey turned her head toward the living room, then toward me, no doubt wondering why I wouldn't put a stop to the noise. With a sigh, I crawled out of bed and stalked toward the front of the apartment. Half-way there, I stopped. It wasn't Seth.
"Georgina!" wailed a twangy soprano voice. "I know you're in there. I can sense you." I'd sensed Tawny too, of course, which is why I'd stopped walking. I sighed again, wondering if it would be possible to ignore her. Probably not. Even if I didn't answer, she'd probably stand out there all day, now that she knew I was here.
I opened the door, expecting to be barreled into with tears and fanfare. Instead, I found Tawny standing calmly outside my door, hesitant to enter. Her eyes were wet after all, but she seemed to be trying very hard to rein herself in. The trembling of her lip suggested that wasn't going to be easy.
And she had a glow.
"C-can I come in?" she asked.
I stepped to the side and waved her in. "You want me to take you out for a drink to celebrate your conquest?"
That was it. She lost it. Sobbing into her hands, she sank down on to my loveseat. Still numbed from the Seth fallout, I had no mental energy to deal with this. Not enough energy to hate her, not enough energy to pity her. I was living apathy.
"Tawny, I - "
"I'm sorry!" she interrupted. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to. I didn't want to do it. But he told me if I did that it'd pay off for both of us, that he'd pull strings to get me faster advancement and that I'd - "
"Whoa, hang on," I said. "Who's 'he'? Niphon?"
She nodded and produced a pack of tissues from her purse. At least she traveled prepared now. She blew her nose loudly before