Succubus Dreams Page 0,105

hurt me. Teach me a lesson."

"I - what? Are you insane? You think I'd do something like this to teach you a lesson? You think I would want to hurt you? Just because you refused sex?"

"Why not?" I asked. "Guys always want sex from me. Why are you any different?"

"Georgina," he said incredulously. "You can't believe that. It's always been about more than sex. You have to know that. I've told you that over and over. I would never purposely hurt you. And yet..."

"And yet what?"

He looked away from me and focused on the carpet. "I don't know that we can keep going on without me hurting you."

"Well, if you don't sleep with my friends - "

"It doesn't even have to be that. There are so many things it could be. I could get hit by a car tomorrow or catch some disease. If you ever do crack some day and sleep with me, you'll hate yourself forever. And if I crack and sell my soul, that's going to upset you too. One way or another, you will get hurt. It's just a matter of when. I saw it that night in the kitchen - I saw your face when you were yelling at me. That's when I knew it was all true."

"I...I was upset," I told him. "And, I mean...we knew this relationship wouldn't be easy. You were okay with all this in the beginning...the sex and everything else...."

"Things change," he said bluntly. He met my eyes, and I again saw warring sides within him. "And back then, I thought I was the one who would get hurt, not you. I can handle it."

"Are you saying I can't?"

"I'm saying I don't want to find out. And honestly, it's not even about sex either. We've got communication problems, time problems...I don't know. Hell, we have death problems. I don't really know if we should keep doing this."

It felt like Joel's death again, like all the energy was being sucked away from me.

"How," I demanded, "can you always lecture me about open communication and then dump this on me now? If you were feeling all this...you should have brought it up beforehand, not in some bluff break-up at the zero hour."

"I'm not entirely sure what that last part meant, but I'm not bluffing. And I've tried to talk to you about this. I tried the night you massaged me - you didn't want to hear it." Seth took a deep breath. "Georgina...I really mean it. I don't think we should be together anymore."

I gaped. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. I'd expected a big fight, one we'd eventually get over, like always. I'd expected him to ask for forgiveness. I'd expected to set new boundaries in the relationship. I'd expected me to be the one to have the high ground and decide if we were going to continue this.

I hadn't expected to be pleading.

"No. No. Seth...we've just got to make it work. Look, I'll get over Maddie, okay? And if you want to sleep with other women...I mean, it is okay. I always said you could. It's just this first time...well, it's a shock, that's all." He just continued to watch me quietly, and I found myself babbling on more and more. "But we can make it work. We always do. We'll find a way. You can't just go ahead and decide something like this on your own. There are two of us in this, you know."

"Yeah," he said. "I do know. And I'm one of the two. And I want to split up."

"No," I said frantically. "You don't want to. This is just some weird...I don't know. You don't mean it."

Seth's silence was more infuriating than if he'd shouted back at me. He just kept watching me, letting me talk. His expression had so much regret - but so much determination too.

"You were the one who told me we could overcome anything," I cried. "Why not this?"

"Because it's too late."

"It can't be. If you do this...it's all for nothing...you'll have ended up hurting me. Me and Maddie both."

"It's a small hurt compared to what could really happen," he said. "And as for Maddie...I don't plan on hurting her. I...I like her."

"But you love me."

"Yeah, I do. I probably always will. But maybe that's not enough. I have to move on. We can't do this. I think maybe...I don't know. I think something good could happen with me and Maddie. In some ways, she's like you, only -