long time. How could Nolan do such a thing to his brother? How could Jake be so calm and continue to protect him?
“This isn’t an easy decision to make. I don’t want to leave you.”
“Then don’t,” I whisper, licking my lips and continuing to choke on the swell of my throat.
“But I can’t stay. Not with Nolan here. Not with my history. I want to be free, Rita. Can you understand that? I don’t want this following me everywhere I go.”
I nod with understanding I don’t have. “No matter where you go, you’ll need to disclose your imprisonment.”
Jake sighs. “But it will be easier without the rumors and knowledge of what happened. I simply have to admit to a crime.”
I want to believe it’s that simple, but life will always be complicated for him. This scar is permanent, and it isn’t just the prison sentence marring Jake’s heart. The truth that his brother committed the crime and Jake paid for it has made forever-lasting damage.
“I don’t know how to get over this . . . this . . . sense of betrayal.” Jake glances up at me, and this I understand.
“I once felt the same way,” I remind him, thinking back to when I learned about the fire and Jake’s part in it. Jake’s assumed role in Ian’s death. Betrayal is a good word for my emotions, but I moved past it. Perhaps it was my faith in Jake. That sense that he couldn’t have started a fire, and he would never intentionally hurt someone. In fact, Jake hadn’t done anything wrong.
He lowers his head once more, his forehead meeting my covered breast.
“Where will you go?” I ask as if I support his decision, which I don’t.
“I don’t know.” The roughness to his tone gives away his frustration. He shifts off me and easily turns for the side of the bed. Slipping out from under the sheets, I have a fine view of his smooth back and firm backside. His body is a testament to beauty but looking at him hurts my heart. He’s walking away from me without a glance back.
A part of me screams to fight for him. Tell him how I feel and what I want. The other part of me feels his defeat as it wavers off him like a hazy fog, seeping outward from his existence and shrouding us both. He pauses at my bedroom door, placing a hand on the doorjamb before turning his head to glance over his shoulder.
“You’re the best of women, Rita Kaplan,” he states, and I fight the sob rolling up my chest. “I’ll never forget who you are.” Jake steps into the hallway without a full glance back at the bed, and I roll to my side, clutching the sheets to my chest. Understanding and heartbreak riddle my insides, and I turn my face into the pillow to hide my tears as I cover my ears to the sound of Jake leaving my house and my heart.
Jake is still under obligation to serve his parole without risk of violation, so being true to this arrangement, he returns to Building Buddies when I check in with Sullivan on Monday. In the meantime, I have a call in to both Jake’s parole officer and Parker Avery.
I am potentially overstepping my bounds with Jake and his parole officer, but I didn’t know how else to get Jake to see reason. From a personal perspective, Nolan’s confession isn’t mine to share as it was hearsay through Jake. On the other hand, I had an obligation as Jake’s supervisor through Building Buddies and our relationship with the prison system to disclose information I feel would be beneficial regarding our ward. The same went for damaging information, which was why Jake had been concerned about our first kiss. Reporting that kiss could have been a strike against his parole.
Sensing that our night together had been Jake’s farewell, I didn’t approach him about the possibilities before him. First and foremost, Jake could be exonerated of the crime if Nolan confessed. His record could be wiped clean and his status restored, although technically, the damage had been done to both Jake’s reputation and his mental health. The confession from his brother was another crushing blow. If Jake didn’t turn his brother in or if Nolan refused to confess, Jake would live forever with the stigma of being a convicted criminal, and he’d continue to live with the knowledge he hadn’t done it when he knew who had.