again…not this time.
This wasn’t him and I flirting, toeing some invisible line. This was about both of us accepting the truth. Neither of us are perfect, and I’m sure there are many reasons why two people like us shouldn’t be together, but there’s no going back now.
Not for me.
I pull away from him, searching his eyes for the slightest trace of assurance, something that tells me he’s not about to stomp on my heart and make a fool out of me, but his eyes are expressionless.
“What?” he questions.
I’m not going to build some sort of bravado and hide my feelings. There is too much at stake.
“What happens when we get out of this bed? Do you drop me off and tell me this was a mistake again, because while I may have just promised to keep your mother’s bracelet safe, I didn’t say shit about keeping the Spinelli family jewels out of harm’s way.”
Biting the inside of his cheek, he holds back a smirk.
Hand to God, that is not the reaction I wanted.
“That’s my girl,” he teases before pausing. He drags his fingers through his hair and his face grows serious as he releases a sigh. “I’m not going to lie to you, my life is crazy right now and this week it’s going to get even crazier.”
Here we go…
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I need you to trust me. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, especially after this weekend, but it’s the only way this will work. You’re going to see things on the news, you’re gonna read shit in the papers, some of it will be true and some of it won’t, but it doesn’t matter because none of it changes what’s happening between us.”
Talk about vague and confusing.
“And what’s that?”
“Without getting into specifics, tonight my whole fucking world changed and all I could do was think about you.” He pulls his fingers from his hair and fixes me with a look. “All I wanted was you. I know that makes me a selfish prick, but I also know that behind every great man is a woman who makes him great. It’s a job that not just any old woman can hold either. She has to know him better than he knows himself. She has to know his past and be able to accept his future. There’s only one woman who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly and that’s you. If tonight was a mistake, it’s going to have to be you who declares it one, because I’m all in, Bug.”
My chest tightens at those words and the weight they hold.
“You’re all in,” I repeat.
“Yeah, and you should probably warn your mother too. If the woman thinks she hates me now, she’s gonna fucking despise me when I pick you up for dinner on Saturday.”
For some odd reason that makes me smile. It also makes things real because if he’s willing to go to war with my mother, he’s serious. I don’t know the reason behind his change of heart, if it has something to do with whatever went down tonight or what, I just know that I’m not going to let this chance slip by us.
When you want something so bad, you find a way to make it work. Even if what you want comes with a side of organized crime. The only hiccup I foresee is my brother. Rocco’s loyalty to him runs deep and right now he’s not thinking about Joaquin and what he will ultimately think about us being together.
“What about my brother?”
“He’s dealing with his own shit right now. When the time is right, we’ll tell him.”
I bite my lip. I want to believe this is real, that he’s not feeding me lines and stringing me along.
“Any more questions?” he asks.
I decide to let the issue of my brother slide and live for the moment. I replay his words in my head and even though it’s a long shot, I ask, “What changed your world tonight?”
“You mean aside from you?”
“Nice try,” I retort, rolling my eyes. “I guess I’m just wondering why the sudden change of heart.” I pause, reading the blank expression on his face. “You’re not going to answer, are you?”
“No,” he confirms and sits up. Licking his lips, he looks away for a moment. Then he brings his eyes back to mine and says, “There are going to be a lot of times where I won’t be able to answer your questions, Violet, and