the rumble of his motorcycle shook the air, and then there was silence.
Until she remembered who she was?
Who did he think she was?
Twelve
“You’re really leaving?” Jenny stood in the doorway of Mom’s trailer, blocking Josey’s exit.
“For the hundredth time, yes. Here,” Josey said, hefting a copier-paper box full of shoes at her, “carry this.”
“Do you have to go tomorrow?” Jenny sounded more like a whiny kid than a full-grown woman. And she wasn’t moving.
“For the hundred and first time, yes. I start the new job on Monday.” Josey did a slow turn, gauging how much stuff she had left to pack. Two more boxes, and then the suitcases of clothing. Four more trips, maybe five?
Jenny glared at her. “I don’t understand why you had to get a job in Texas. I don’t understand why you’re leaving. When Ricky dumped me—while I was pregnant, may I remind you—I didn’t tuck tail and run.”
“I’m not tucking and running.”
“Like hell you’re not. So he turned out to be a jerk. What man isn’t?” Jenny said this as if it were a fact of life. “It’s not like you work for him or anything. He’ll never set foot on the rez again—not if he knows what’s good for him. You’ll never see him again. You don’t have to leave.”
Sorrow threatened to overwhelm Josey. She’d had an almost identical conversation with Mom last night.
But Josey wasn’t leaving Mom and Jenny. If anything, they’d be the only two reasons to stay. But neither of them could see how much of a pariah Josey had become in the days following The End of Ben. People had stopped looking at her—even people she’d counted as friends, people like Don.
She couldn’t stay here and be an outsider trying to fit in, and she couldn’t let Ben be the way she defined herself. “You’ll like Texas. Lots of cowboys. You can bring Seth down on summer breaks and stuff.”
“Why Texas? Why go at all?”
“Because that’s where the job is. Dallas is a nice city.” Texas was someplace that had no memories. She’d looked at New York, but she didn’t want to bump into the ghost of her grandparents every time she turned a corner. She wanted a blank slate, where no one had ever heard of Josey White Plume or Ben Bolton.
She needed to forget him, just for a little bit, while she tried to figure out who she was going to be from now on. Texas was as good as place as any to start over. People wouldn’t look at her and wonder. They might assume she was Hispanic, but that wouldn’t mark her as different. She would blend. Which was almost the same thing as fitting in. Almost.
Not that Jenny understood that. The perma-scowl on her face made that much clear.
Josey tried to appease her. “Hey—it’s the Children’s Hospital. I’ll still be helping kids. I thought you’d like that.”
“But not our kids,” she snapped. “Not us.” With that, she stomped outside and dropped the box on the ground next to Josey’s car.
She didn’t want to leave with Jenny mad at her—but she couldn’t see a scenario where Jenny was happy to see her go. That was a nice feeling. At least someone would miss her.
Would Ben? Josey tried not to think about him, but again and again he popped up in her thoughts. She’d spent far too many long nights wondering if he would come for her, but she hadn’t heard a peep out of a Bolton in the past four weeks.
It was better this way. She didn’t belong here or there, so she was going somewhere new and become someone new.
She’d found a job and rented an apartment. She was leaving, and that was that. It was better this way—a clean break.
That’s what she told herself, again and again. She liked to pretend it was working. Tomorrow morning, pretending would get a lot easier. She needed to be in a different state than Ben just so she’d have room to think.
Jenny was leaning against the car, glaring at her. “You’re coming by the school before you leave tomorrow, right? You’re going to say goodbye to the kids, right?”
“Right. Around nine.” One final hurrah to the old Josey White Plume.
She knew she couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. She’d just have to do it quick, before her emotions got the better of her. After that, she’d be able to spend the thirteen hours in the car figuring out how she was going to fit into her new life.
Jenny wiped