THE STAIRWELL OF THE ANDERSON HOUSE.
PIPPA is still stuck with her head through the posts, but MOLLY is sitting beside her on the stairs and has her calmed down quite a bit. The CHILDREN still cluster around, watching her. MOLLY strokes
PIPPA'S hair with one hand. In her other, MOLLY is holding PIPPA'S bread and jam.
MOLLY
You're okay, Pippa. Mike and your daddy will be here in another minute. Mike will get you out.
PIPPA
How can he?
MOLLY I don't know. He's just magic that way.
PIPPA I'm hungry.
MOLLY gets her arm through the bars and maneuvers the bread to PIPPA'S mouth. PIPPA eats. The other KIDS watch this with fascination. One, a boy of five, is JILL ROBICHAUX'S son.
HARRY ROBICHAUX
CHAPTER 3
Can I feed her, Missus Anderson? I fed a monkey once, at the Bangor Fair.
The other kids laugh. PIPPA is not amused.
PIPPA I'm not a monkey, Harry! I'm a child, not a monkey!
DON SEALS
Look, you guys, I'm a monkey!
He starts leaping around at the foot of the stairs, scratching under his armpits and being foolish as only a four-year-old can be. At once, the others start imitating him.
PIPPA I am not a monkey!
And begins to cry. MOLLY strokes her hair, but can't talk her out of this one. Getting your head stuck between the bars is bad; being called a monkey is even worse.
MOLLY
You kids, stop that! Stop it right now! It's not nice, and it's making Pippa sad!
Most of them stop, but DON BEALS, a little booger of the purest ray serene, goes on prancing and scratching.
MOLLY Don, you stop. It's mean.
RALPHIE Momma says it's mean.
He tries to grab hold of DON. DON shakes him off.
DON BEALS I'm bein' a monkey!
DON does the monkey thing twice as hard, just to spite RALPHIE . . . and RALPHIE'S mother, of course. The hall door opens. MIKE and HATCH come in. HATCH sees the problem at once and reacts with a mixture of fright and relief.
PIPPA
Daddee!
She starts yanking backward again, trying to free herself.
HATCH
Pippa! Hold still! You want to yank your ears right off your head?
RALPHIE
(runs to MIKE)
Daddy! Pippa got her head stuck and Don won't stop being a monkey!
RALPHIE leaps into his father's arms. HATCH climbs to where his daughter has been caught by the incredible girl-eating stairs and kneels by her. MOLLY looks over her back at her husband and sends a message with her eyes: "Please fix this!"
A CUTE LITTLE BLONDE GIRL with pigtails pulls at the pocket of MIKE'S white butcher's pants. She is wearing most of her own strawberry jam treat on the front of her shirt.
SALLY GODSOE
Mr. Anderson? I stopped being a monkey. As soon as she said.
SALLY points to MOLLY. MIKE gently disengages her. SALLY, another four-year-old, promptly pops her thumb into her mouth.
MIKE That's good, Sally. Ralphie, got to put you down now.
He puts RALPHIE down. DON BEALS promptly pushes him.
RALPHIE
Ow, hey! Why'd you do that?
DON BEALS
For acting smart!
It comes out "sma'aat." MIKE picks DON BEALS up and raises him to eye level. DON isn't afraid a bit, the little craphead.
DON BEALS
I ain't afraid of you! My dad's town manager! He pays your salary!
He sticks out his tongue and BLOWS A RASPBERRY right in MIKE'S face. MIKE isn't the slightest put out of countenance.
MIKE
Pushers get pushed, Donnie Beals. You want to remember that, because it's a true fact of this sad life. Pushers get pushed.
DON doesn't understand, but reacts to the tone. He'll get up to more dickens eventually, but he's been put in his place for the time being. MIKE puts DON down and goes to the side of the stairs. Behind him we see a half-open door marked WEE FOLKS. In the room beyond the door
are little tables and chairs. Happy, colorful mobiles hang from the ceiling. It's the classroom of MOLLY'S day-care center.
HATCH is pushing at the top of his daughter's head. This isn't accomplishing anything, and she's consequently growing panicky again, thinking she'll be stuck forever.
HATCH
Honey, why did you do this?
PIPPA
Heidi St. Pierre dared me.
MIKE puts his hands over HATCH'S and moves HATCH aside. HATCH looks at MIKE hopefully.
31 INTERIOR: THE CHILDREN AT THE FOOT OF THE STAIRS.
HEIDI ST. PIERRE, the five-year-old daughter of LINDA ST. PIERRE, is a carrottop wearing thick glasses.
HEIDI Did not.
PIPPA
Did so!
HEIDI ST. PIERRE
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
MOLLY
Stop it, both of you.
PIPPA (to MIKE)
It was easy going out, but now I can't get back in. I think my head must be bigger on this side.
MIKE It is ... but I'm going to make it smaller. Do you know how?
PIPPA
(fascinated)