hand and stared at the photo of herself.
She’d been about twenty-three then. Her hair was long, down past her shoulders, red and unruly, as it had been throughout her youth. In the picture she was covered in dirt, black smudges across her white tank top, dust smeared on her cheeks. But her lips were smiling, her eyes gleaming.
Ecuador.
The first dig she’d been on with Doug. The first time he’d looked at her as anything other than one of his grunts.
Man, she’d been blinded by lust, enamored of a man who’d been more emotionally closed off even than she was now. She could see it on the face of the naïve upstart staring back at her.
Oh, yeah, she’d played hard to get back then. She shook her head and frowned at the memory. She’d fallen into bed with him the second he’d crooked his little finger at her, not caring one iota about the repercussions or consequences or how it would change her life.
Schmuck. What the hell were you thinking?
She wanted to scream it at the photo, pretend the words could make a difference, that somehow the girl she used to be would wise up and listen.
How many people had told her she was making a monumental mistake? Too many to count. And had she listened?
Hell, no.
As Shane was known to point out anytime the opportunity arose, she was bullheaded to the extreme. Well, that had come back to bite her in the ass several times over, hadn’t it?
A thousand what ifs and I should haves ran through Lisa’s mind as she stared at a woman she barely remembered. None made up for her genuine stupidity. None changed the past.
Resigned, she tucked the photo back inside, closed the journal and replaced it in the pack.
Later. She’d read it in depth later. Right now she needed coffee.
She found sports shorts in a drawer, pulled them on and rolled her eyes. Why couldn’t she have had a twin sister? One with a gentle disposition, some sort of fashion sense and clothes she could actually borrow?
Dreading seeing Shane that morning because she knew exactly what he would say, she managed to find a way to keep the shorts from slipping to her knees by rolling the waistband down a few times. She brushed her teeth with a new toothbrush she found in the bathroom drawer, thanked the stars above for Shane’s practicality, finger-combed her hair and checked her reflection.
She looked like she hadn’t slept in a week. A good-sized bruise had formed near her temple. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her arm hurt like a bitch.
Screw it. She didn’t care what she looked like. She wasn’t out to impress anyone anyway.
She had more urgent issues, like what the hell they were going to do, now that Doug’s research had gone up in flames. His journal would only be helpful once they determined the right island. And at this point, it could be anywhere.
She headed for the kitchen. Her brain was fuzz without her morning shot of espresso. If it hadn’t been for the damn caffeine withdrawal, she’d have gone back to bed and slept for the next twelve hours.
Voices echoed from the front of the apartment, Shane’s distrusting tone followed by Rafe’s deep one. Fabulous. Male posturing. Just what she needed. There was so much freakin’ testosterone in the apartment, she could feel it clogging the air.
She rolled her shoulder as she moved down the hall. If they’d drained the coffee already, heads were gonna roll.
The both looked up when she stepped into the kitchen. Shane sat at the table, his eyes scrutinizing her face. Rafe stood quietly near the counter.
“Good morning,” she mumbled, avoiding Shane’s probing eyes as she skirted the table toward the coffee pot.
Her brother lifted his mug to his lips. “Hook up an I V, Lis. ’Cause we’re gonna have words.”
Suddenly, that burning vehicle didn’t look so bad right about now.
She opened the cupboard, avoiding Rafe as much as she could while she searched for a cup. Too many thoughts from last night were racing through her mind, too many other what ifs.
Holy cow, did the guy just pump out heat or something? It felt like it was nine thousand degrees in the kitchen, and he wasn’t even close to her.
A full mug of steaming coffee slid down the counter toward her. Startled, she glanced up, her fingers pausing on the cupboard door.
And her breath nearly stopped when she looked into Rafe’s smoldering, I-still-want-you eyes. A shadow of