by a woman who is convinced she's irresistible.
"Nothing," I said.
"You're blushing!"
I knew I wasn't; and realized that it was a trick she used to fluster the men she flirted with.
"Am I?" I said coldly. That desire was thrusting itself through me; the desire to push her violently from the house.
"Yes," she said. "I'm not embarrassing you in this suit, am I?"
"Not at all," I said. I felt physically ill standing so close to her. She seemed to radiate something that wrenched my insides. I turned to the door and opened it. "I have a little headache, that's all," I explained.
"I was just about to lie down."
"Oh-h." The sympathy was false too; I felt it. "You lie down then. Lying down can help a lot-of things." She finished as if it were an afterthought.
"Yes. I will."
"I'll bring the glasses back tonight," she said.
"No hurry," I answered. I wanted to scream into her face- Will you get the hell out of here!
Repressing it made me shiver.
"That was quite a party we had last night," said Elsie. Her voice seemed to come from a distance. I couldn't see her face distinctly.
"Yes," I managed to say, "very interesting."
"You really knew what you were doing, though, didn't you?" she told me. I nodded quickly, willing to say anything to get her out. "Yes. Of course."
"I knew it," she said, satisfied. I closed the door halfway. "Well." Elsie took a deep breath and the bathing suit swelled in front. "Thanks for the glasses," she said as if she were thanking me for something else.
I closed the door behind her and gasped dizzily.
"Get in that backyard!" Elsie screamed.
I jumped so sharply I banged my knee against the door. As I bent over, rubbing it, I heard Candy outside in the alley, whining.
When Elsie was gone I sank down at the table and closed my eyes. I felt as if I'd just climbed out of a well. I tried to tell myself it was only imagination but that didn't work. Mind ran second again, poor competition for my emotions. I felt dazed and weakened. On the surface that was senseless. Elsie was quite ordinary, not very attractive. She'd never bothered me before. I'd always felt slightly amused by her antics.
I wasn't amused now. I almost felt afraid of her.
And, no matter how I went about it, there was only one explanation. I'd seen behind her words, behind her actions. Somehow I'd been inside her mind.
It was an awful place.
Chapter Five
I TOLD ANNE ABOUT IT that night after Phil had left for Berkeley. Richard was asleep and we were getting ready for bed. I was in my pajamas, Anne undressing by the closet.
"I don't understand what you mean," she said when I'd finished. I shook my head slowly. "I don't blame you," I said somberly. "I don't understand it either."
"Well... what is it?" she asked. "You say you felt repelled by her but-" She didn't finish; just stood there looking at me.
"That's it," I said, "I-I think I must have known what was going on in her mind. I don't mean her thoughts exactly; not words or sentences." I gestured helplessly. "What was behind her words I guess. What she felt."
"My God," Anne said. "You make her sound like a monster."
"Maybe we're all monsters underneath," I said.
I saw her shudder a little as she drew on her robe. She came over and sat down beside me. We were quiet for a moment.
"All right," she said, "forgetting about Elsie for the moment. Do you think this is a carry-over from last night? Like... seeing that woman?"
"I don't know what else it could be," I told her.
She bit her lower lip. "What could have happened?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said. "You saw it. Did I act-strange in any way while I was under hypnosis?" She looked at me worriedly. "Not that I can remember," she said. "I've seen people hypnotized before. I've seen Phil hypnotize other people. They didn't act any different from the way you did." I sighed. "I don't get it then."
"You should have told Phil," she said. "Maybe he could have done something."
"How?" I asked. "As far as he was concerned the hypnosis was everything he wanted it to be. He'd just say I'm a little keyed up."
"I know, but..."
She looked so disturbed that I tried to sound a little less worried about it.
"Telepathy, you can have it."
"You really think that's what it is?"
"I don't know what it is." I shrugged. "I guess that's as good a