can let the other one know. He’ll be brave for you, you’ll be brave for him, and that’s how you’ll leave things. Just trust me, okay? That’s what my uncle said it was like when he left my aunt during Vietnam. You’re strong for each other. That’s it.” It was the most serious string of sentences to ever come from Tosha Danbury’s mouth.
“You better have wine and cupcakes for me when I get back.” I tried to joke, but we just stared at each other.
“Of course. I love you, Nat. You can do this.”
I can’t tell you how I got there that day. I can tell you that my dress was red. And that I never wore it again. I gripped the wheel with all my might and drove until my car stopped at the place I was supposed to say goodbye. There was no band, no parade, and I felt far less glamorous than the World War II women I’d seen in pictures.
I spotted Ryker’s dad first; he seemed to be waiting for me near the entrance.
“Ready, Kid?” he asked, wrapping my shoulders into his arm.
We really were just kids.
When we walked into the large hall, I was nearly brought to my knees at the scene. Families. There were families everywhere. There was laughing, but mostly crying and hugging; apparently an overwhelming amount because I didn’t realize I’d stopped in the doorway.
“Come on, Hon, I see them up ahead.”
Them was Lucas, his parents, and who I gathered to be his grandparents, a woman I recognized from pictures to be Ryker’s mom—who lived in Wyoming—and then, Ryker. It was the first time I’d ever seen him in fatigues, aside from pictures, and as soon as his eyes met mine and a smile forced its way across his face, I lost it. I didn’t crumple to the floor in a heap, but I simply couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face.
Ryker hurried over to me and lifted me into a full body hug.
“No tears,” he whispered, “I’m gonna be good—it’s gonna be good.” Yeah, he was comforting me as he was about to embark on the scariest thing I could think of.
I nodded when he set me down, trying to force words through my shaking throat.
“Julia.” Ryker’s dad, Bill, came around me and hugged Ryker’s mom. She quickly wiped her eyes before turning to me.
“You must be Natalie, it’s nice to meet you.” I stuck out my hand, but she wrapped her arms around me instead.
Ryker’s sister, Crystal, couldn’t be there as she was in the Peace Corps in Africa. I got to meet Lucas’s parents, too, and for several minutes the families stood around, facing Ryker and Lucas, who looked remarkably relaxed next to one another. Lucas was positively beaming, in fact. Mistakenly, I looked around the room when we were told we only had a few minutes left.
Wives clutched their husbands as toddlers played on the floor between them, a female guardsman sang her daughter a song while she put clips in her hair, and another member was crouched down in front of his wife, kissing her visibly pregnant belly. Each one of these soldiers had entire lives they were leaving at the drop of a hat—at the call of war.
I wanted to tell him not to go, to sink to my knees and grab his legs like a child in a tantrum; but Tosha’s voice reminded me to keep it together. I walked toward Lucas and gave him a hug first.
“Be safe,” was all I could say.
Seriously?
“We will, Nat.” His smile might have convinced me, if there wasn’t sobbing all around us.
All the parents and grandparents hugged the boys. I didn’t know much at the time about Ryker’s relationship with his mom, other than it was strained, but he rubbed her back and wiped her tears as she stepped away from him.
And then it was my turn.
What started out as casual dating several months ago was anything but, in that moment. My chest hurt at the thought of having to walk out of that building in a few short minutes. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want him to go.
“Bye.” I buried my face into his shoulder and my entire body shook.
So much for keeping your shit together, Nat.
“I love you, Nat.” It wasn’t a whisper; everyone heard.
“I love you too,” I managed before kissing him long and hard on the lips.
He squeezed me desperately, before pulling away and giving me a nod and a