That was really unprofessional of me. But really nasty of him. I win.
“I didn’t mean to cause trouble up there,” Danielle says as we reach her car, parked haphazardly between two spots.
“Don’t worry about it. He’s been really stressed about the Ph.D. stuff—you know what, that’s not important. Don’t share this incident with your classmates, okay? Just go see your boyfriend off. Kiss him until they clear their throats and you’re sure you should be embarrassed because you’re the last one there. But don’t be. Don’t be embarrassed. Just kiss him with everything you have.”
“Thank you, Natalie.” After a quick hug, Danielle speeds out of the parking lot.
I don’t envy her. Not one bit.
With that, I slide into my car and press my head against the steering wheel.
Not one bit.
* * *
“So, what’s next? What happens now?” I asked him between thick kisses on my dorm bed.
The past week had been non-stop dinners, kissing, and sex. Studying filled in what little blanks there were. It was like we were trying to drink ourselves full of each other before the drought.
“Tomorrow we say good-bye, then I train in Texas for a few weeks, then we go.” Ryker ran his nose along the outside of my ear and whispered, like he was telling me fairytale; a bedtime story that I could wake up from.
“I don’t want to tell you good-bye.” I blinked some tears away. He pulled his head back when they hit his cheek.
“No tears tonight, all right? I want to see you smile. You have a gorgeous smile, Nat.”
Of course, that made me smile.
I kept my smile and wiped away more tears. “Will you be able to call me?”
“I think so.” Ryker slid his hands up my shirt, dragging his lips behind them.
Stop talking about it, Nat. Enjoy this.
He just needed me that night, the September 10th Natalie, not the Military Girlfriend Natalie. I was happy to give it to him, but suddenly felt nervous—as if it was our first time. I quickly shook those thoughts away and realized I needed to capture every sensory memory of him that I could before he went off to war.
Fucking war.
“Do you have to go back to your dorm tonight?” I asked, sitting up on my elbows.
He laughed and pulled off his shirt, “No, Nat, I don’t have to be anywhere for the next twelve hours.”
“Yeah, you do.” I took of my shirt and pulled him back down on top of me, “Right here is where you have to be.” I reached between us and unzipped my pants; he sat up on his knees and did the same.
When he positioned himself between my legs he shook his head before kissing me. “Damn, you’re fine. How did I get so lucky?”
“You kissed me the second we met.” I let out a long sigh as he slid into me.
Ryker moved in and out of me slowly, but kept talking at first.
“That was ballsy of me, wasn’t it? Man,” he moaned, “you feel so good, Natalie.”
I left my eyes open and watched him close his eyes tightly while he bit his lip. I loved him. I realized it in that second. I can’t be sure if I would have felt the same thing at that precise moment if he wasn’t about to head to war; but I felt it anyway. It was now or never.
I grabbed his face and pulled up from my neck. “I love you, Ryker.”
He smiled with his eyes first, then it traveled to his mouth. “I love you too, Natalie.”
“Make love to me all night. Don’t stop, okay?”
His arms flexed on either side of my shoulders as he moved faster. “I wouldn’t dream of stopping. Not now.”
And that’s just what we did.
The rest of it is a painful blur. With a kiss, Ryker slipped out early in the morning and told me he’d see me later. Tosha checked my makeup as I prepared to drive to see him off. Ryker’s dad, who I’d met a few times since he lived in the area, offered to drive me, but I politely declined. If I was going to hold my shit together to say goodbye to Ryker, I needed a safe place to bawl my eyes out when it was time to leave.
“Remember,” Tosha said, placing a hand on my shoulder, “don’t fall apart, okay?”
“Tosh . . .” I rolled my eyes, we’d been over this.
“You’re both going to be scared shitless, but neither one of you