Stay With Me (She's With Me #2) - Jessica Cunsolo Page 0,10
it at that.”
Putting my hand on Aiden’s shoulder for support is all I can manage to do. Even though my own heart aches for them, I don’t dare to speak over the lump in my throat.
He looks at me for the first time. “I assured them that I wasn’t going anywhere, that nothing would ever split us up.”
“They’re just in shock.”
“I hope so,” he says. “We sat and I answered all their questions, and they’re handling it well, considering. They seemed like their usual selves before I left. I hate that this is going to ruin their winter break.”
“We’ll find a way to make it fun,” I assure him, already running through a mental list of things we can do before school starts again in January, forgetting for a moment that I won’t be here.
He shakes his head as if clearing the troubling thoughts from it. “Anyway, if you still want to talk, we should before we get interrupted by everyone.”
My breath hitches, but I still manage to choke out, “You’re right.”
Suddenly, the two of us standing in front of one another feels awkward, distant. Keeping my secrets has been about survival; they’re stories that should probably be reserved for me and a future therapist. But I’m going to tell him anyway, which makes me realize just how much I trust Aiden. “Let’s go sit on the couch. It’s more comfortable, and it’s a long story.”
The last time we sat on the couch alone together, it ended up turning into the best make-out session of my entire life. We sit, and I turn my body sideways to face him, crossing my legs underneath me. His facial expression is neutral, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking, probably Get the fuck on with it, Thea, and stop being so dramatic.
“Do you remember when I told you about my dad, how he died? How he picked me up one day plastered and ended up killing himself and a six-year-old named Sabrina?”
If Aiden’s surprised about how this is starting, he doesn’t show it. I’m suddenly all too aware of how much space Aiden takes up on my couch, of how his body is turned toward me, how he’s giving me his full and undivided attention. Ignoring the squeezing in my throat, I push on with the story.
“You know that Tony, her father, hates and blames me for what happened. But I didn’t tell you to what extent. How his sorrow turned to anger, which turned to revenge. He’s made it his life’s mission to haunt me, to destroy me.”
A deep breath calms me as the memories I’ve tried so hard to repress come flooding forward. My focus shifts to the wall behind Aiden, because if I look directly at him, I don’t think I’ll be able to continue.
“The accident happened in November of my junior year, and that was a really bad time for me. We were still living in Mayford, my hometown. I was mourning the loss of my father, who, despite everything, I loved and missed more than anything. I was thinking about what I could have done differently to prevent the death of my father and of Sabrina, playing the accident over and over in my head, torturing myself with the what-ifs. I was consumed with guilt and was an emotional wreck. Add that to my broken arm and other physical injuries from the accident, and I was not good company at the time. I wanted to be alone, and I was haunted by my father and Sabrina, an innocent little girl. I even slipped into the back of the church during her funeral, just to torture myself some more.”
His strong but gentle hand grabs my face, pulling me out of my reverie, and turns me so that I’m looking deep into his eyes.
“Thea,” Aiden starts. “It wasn’t your fault. I’ve said it before—”
“Aiden, stop.” I cut off his assurances and pull myself from his grasp. “Please. Just let me tell the whole story. No interruptions. Okay?”
He hesitates for a second but then reluctantly nods. Satisfied with his reply, I force the memories to come back to me.
“In the weeks following the accident, I’d walk. I never told anyone where I was going or how long I’d be out, because the point was to be alone. I was trying to clear my head, trying to mourn my father. Night or day, snowing or sunny, I was outside, not paying attention to my surroundings and hoping to clear my thoughts.”