the surgery.”
“Pony, respectfully speaking, that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”
“I can’t wear binders for much longer. They squeeze me into nothing. I can’t take a deep breath without full concentration. And Texas summers? The sweat just traps inside.”
“Then move to New York and get a job with health insurance.”
“I didn’t think of that,” I admit.
“Or find someone rich to ask for the help. I don’t know, like an old dying actor?”
“He doesn’t know I’m trans.”
“Pony,” she says, disappointed. “I’m not going to comment on that.”
“I’ll tell him at the funeral.”
“You have options. There’s more than one way to get from here to there.”
“You always know the right thing to say.”
Rocky pulls a nail file out of her purse. “Don’t walk around thinking I’m perfect. You heard about the credit-card thing. New York is no joke. It will beat you down. But I get back up every time because I’m a stubborn Taurus.”
I look around at the nearly vacant Sonic lot. “Georgia wants to move to New York.”
Rocky takes the last pull of her slush and tosses the cup into the backseat. “You really like this girl, don’t you?”
I pause. “Yes.”
“But do you love this girl?”
I pause again. I have never been in love, but the feelings I have for Georgia are consuming, obsessive, overwhelming. “Yes.”
“Pony, she likes you. I picked up on the vibes. You finish each other’s sentences. You have so many inside jokes. Too many inside jokes. A little advice here—when you lovebirds aren’t alone, use your outside jokes.”
“Noted,” I say, proud that we are annoying.
“Pony, I’m being as serious as Grandpa’s heart attack right now. You are a special dude. Either way, you need to know the truth. Shit or get off the pot, right?”
My heart starts beating. “A movie-magic grand gesture to say I love you?”
“Whoa,” she says. “I was thinking coffee?”
“Oh,” I say, feeling silly.
“You know,” Rocky says, “if you love this girl, you should go big. What are you thinking?”
I look out my car window and think. I remember that night in the golf cart playing Truth or Truth. “Her favorite movie is Love Actually.”
Rocky starts bouncing up and down in the seat, shaking the car. “Yes! Let’s re-create the poster-board scene!”
She’s referring to the scene where the guy from The Walking Dead professes his love to his best friend’s wife on Christmas by showing up at her door and standing with poster boards that say cute things. While his best friend is in the house. Really messed up if you unpack it.
“Tomorrow! And, you’ll come with me?” I ask.
“Oh, Pony. No, sorry, baby. I’ll be on a plane putting many miles between me and this place.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “You don’t need me there.”
My heart sinks. “You’re already leaving?”
“I promised to show up for Mom’s birthday. One day. And what a day it has been!”
My phone buzzes. Probably Georgia, so I check it immediately. It’s Dad. I read it out loud: “‘I’m sorry. Tell your sister I said that. Mom wants you to come home.’”
“He always had a way with words,” Rocky says, rolling her eyes. “Ugh. Fine. Let’s go back. For Mom. But first we need to make a quick stop at Walmart to buy them out of poster boards and Red Bull. We have a long night ahead of us.”
“You’re the best sister ever,” I say.
“And you, sir, are the kindest, sweetest brother.”
Brother.
“And Pony,” she says with her serious voice, “I will always come home if you need me.”
“Thanks,” I say.
IPHONES, 11:39 P.M.
GEORGIA: PONY
PONY: Hey you
GEORGIA: Where’s my text buddy?
PONY: Here! But busy with Rocky
GEORGIA: ☹ ☹ ☹ ☹
GEORGIA: TALK TO ME
PONY: I’m sorry, Rocky leaves tomorrow so we are hanging out.
GEORGIA: Np. Good night.
PONY: Goodnight actually.
GEORGIA: Weirdo.
SIXTEEN
Saturday, October 19
GEORGIA, 5:55 P.M.
I wake up on my couch, confused about time of day or purpose of life. I check my phone. I have been out cold for two solid hours. The house is dark, cold, and quiet. Like my heart. Dad went to the movies with his new lady friend. I was invited, but no thanks.
I sit up and stretch my arms. My eyes slowly adjust to the darkness of the living room. Growing up, we were the Saturday-night-hot-cocoa-cheesy-movies-buttery-popcorn kind of family. I pretended like I hated it, but I didn’t. And now I miss it.
I’m on my feet and headed upstairs to change and maybe even shower when the doorbell rings. Sonofabitch. I open the door and see my girls. Mia stomps inside without invitation (guess