love tablets, I said. That’s good, Perley, said the teacher. Plastic is my favorite material, I said. So you should turn it on and get started, she said. That’s okay, I just love to hold it, I said. But you’ve got to do the work, Perley, she said. You’ve got to do your Specials. I just stroked the tablet like it was a baby wolf and she said, Perley, the other children are getting started, what is the trouble? Nothing, I said. Fucking hillbilly, said Bexley, but still so quiet it was almost like he was sending to me with his mind like an elf would even though I was beginning to realize that there was no way Bexley could be an elf, or at least not a valiant one, definitely not a Wolfrider.
The teacher leaned down and pressed a button on the back of my tablet and the screen glowed up at me like opening a magic vault. There, she said. Thank you, I said. I love this. I love this tablet. Good, she said. I’ll let you get started. She left me alone. I looked at the tablet. But I didn’t know what I was seeing because I was a total fucking hillbilly. All the other kids were quiet, staring into the light and using highly skilled finger actions, but when I looked at mine, all the light from the vault went so fast that I didn’t know where to look, and I didn’t know where to put my hands. I knew how to read but it’s like I forgot I knew how to read. So even though I loved the tablet, and even though plastic was my favorite material, I took a break and looked out the window for a minute. Just to check if I was missing anything out there, and I soon saw Leetah and Cutter through the oaks at the edge of the playground and they were riding on Nightrunner, the noble old wolf. Nearby were their children, Suntop and Ember, tumbling around with Choplicker, who was still only a pup. They were calling to me and I had to go. Also my leg had a cramp it felt like it was flexing itself. I’d never been inside for so long unless it was a total friggin blizzard. I stood up. Perley, what is it? asked the teacher. I knew that she wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand that whenever I saw the wolves with their elfin riders I had to drop whatever it was I was doing and see how close I could get to them before they disappeared. I had to get close to them because one day they might carry me off and there was no way that I was going to miss that. I have to go to the bathroom, I said. It was my first lie. At home I told the truth and then watched my women fight it out. But I could tell school was different. Optimum strategy was called for, like when the elves match wits with the trolls. It didn’t matter if I lied or not. What mattered is if I made it through. So the teacher gave me a hall pass which said hall pass and was a laminated piece of construction paper with some yarn on it.
I took the hall pass and I didn’t go to the bathroom I went out to the playground but by the time I made it outside Cutter and Leetah were gone, and the wolves were gone, so I undid my pants and peed in a bush. Then I looked up at the school and Bexley was looking back at me through the open window and then the nice teacher’s head appeared above his mowed head and then she came outside and took me by the arm to the principal’s office.
Perley, said the principal. Sir, I said. You’ve just joined us, he said. Yes, sir, I said. This is your first day, he said. Yes, sir, I said. Don’t call me sir, he said. Call me Mr. Anderson. Yes, sir, I said. He won’t focus, said my nice teacher. He can’t focus on the tablet. We’re doing Specials and he won’t do it. He went outside without permission. Think of the trouble I could get in. Also another child said he peed in the bushes not that I encourage tattletales. The principal was a good man I mean he was a good big man I mean his belly was big