Not ever. She’d spent years telling herself it was in the past. That she’d done all she could to make it right.
Victor’s fingers tangled with hers. “Lace.” She forced her gaze from their entwined hands up to his stormy eyes. “You can’t control what your sister does or doesn’t do. You can only choose for you.”
His lips were moving, but all she could think was how much she wanted him. She wanted him to get into her space and kiss her senseless and tell her they would take on their two messed-up dysfunctional, broken families together.
Before she could do something stupid, she was out of the booth and on her feet, her gaze steadily avoiding his. “It’s getting late. We should go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The drive back to Victor’s parents’ estate was shrouded in silence. Lacey focused on the unfamiliar roads, while Victor provided nothing beyond the occasional direction. He seemed to know not to push her to talk about the reason for her outburst at the pub.
“Will you be okay to pick your car up in the morning?” She’d insisted on driving Victor, even though he seemed as sober as they came. At least being with him meant not being alone with her thoughts.
“I’m sure I’ll be able to get a lift with Mum or Dad at some point.” Victor scrubbed his face with the palm of his hand, his jaw set in a grim line.
“Are you going to tell them about Sabine?”
“Dad will be asleep already, so I’ll do it in the morning. You should stay.” Victor changed the subject abruptly. “It’s over an hour back to Oxford, and it’s late. Why don’t you stay and drive back in the morning?”
“I’ll be fine.” She didn’t trust herself to stay. But she didn’t trust herself to drive back alone with her thoughts either. They were both inadvisable for completely different reasons.
She was too aware of his every move. If they got in that house and he so much as touched her or looked at her like she really mattered … Her traitorous lips tingled. Remembering what she had tried so hard to forget.
Victor let out a sigh.
“You okay?”
“Just trying to work out how I tell Mum and Dad they have a granddaughter I’ve never met. I can’t even give them a name or a birth date.”
His words slapped her like an unexpected snowball on winter’s day. This wasn’t the Victor of old who played his title and charm to maximum advantage. If they got in that house and Lacey threw herself at him, she’d no doubt be politely and kindly declined.
What was she even thinking? He was a colleague. Meredith had made it crystal clear when she’d made the job offer that she knew the no-fraternization rule was never going to hold for junior staff. But it was non-negotiable for management unless it came with a ring and an announcement in the New York Times.
“The entrance to the house is on the right in a few seconds.”
Lacey slowed and indicated. She had no idea why, given they hadn’t seen another vehicle in the last ten minutes. She made the turn into the long driveway. Now she had about a hundred meters to make up her mind. Stay or go. Stay or go.
She pulled into the gravel space in front of the house but didn’t turn off the engine.
Victor turned slightly in his seat, tilting his body toward her. “Okay, I have a confession to make. The fact that it’s late and it’s a long drive back is only part of the reason I want you to stay.”
Lacey turned her head and looked at him, breath stilling in her lungs at the way his grey eyes were focused only on her.
“I just …” Victor’s hands tightened in his lap. “I don’t know why you’re in my corner. I certainly know there’s nothing I’ve done to deserve it. But the other reason I want you to stay is because if you’re in the house tomorrow when I tell my parents about Sabine … Well, being around you makes me braver than I actually am.”
It was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in years. Even if it wasn’t entirely true. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve spent the last three years determined to show your family that you’re different, knowing they expect you to fail. That takes more courage than anything I’ve ever done.” Then her traitorous fingers turned the engine off.
Victor’s eyes glittered at her words, and he swallowed before