She sat down at the kitchen table with me, and Adeline promptly fell asleep with one chunky cheek squished against her mother’s shoulder.
My friend looked tired, but I assumed it was because it wasn’t even ten in the morning. There was no telling how early she’d had to get up with the kids. Since Robert was coming off nights, that meant she was likely coming down from a four-day sprint where she was all hands on deck. Her hair was a frizzy mess held up in a neon pink clip, her eyes were heavy, and she was wearing her fleece robe over a pair of Christmas pajamas with polar bears on them.
“Where’s Robert?” I asked.
“He just got off a round of nights, so he’ll be in bed until around one o’clock.” She held a hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn. “What’s going on, Kathryn? You’re making me nervous.”
I sighed and stared into my teacup. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I just did something I can’t take back and now I’m scared of the ramifications.” I noticed the overflowing kitchen sink, messy counters, and mop resting against the corner of the fridge. “I hooked up with Ethan last night.”
Miriam blinked at me. “Like, Ethan, Ethan? Your work Ethan? The guy you hate more than shellfish?”
“Yeah, that Ethan.”
Adeline cooed in her mother’s arms and snuggled into the groove of Miriam’s neck. Miriam rubbed her back in slow circles. “I thought you were going to say something worse.”
“Something worse?” I asked incredulously. “Miriam, I don’t think you understand. He’s my rival. Sure, he’s a good-looking guy—a really good-looking guy—but we’ve been pitted against each other for years and there’s nothing that gets me through the workday easier than hating his guts. Sex complicates everything. What was I thinking?”
Bobby hurried in from the living room with tears in his eyes and held his toy truck up to his mother. One of the wheels had fallen off.
She stroked his hair and asked him to give us a couple of minutes, after which she’d fix his truck. She looked back up at me. “Kathryn, I feel for you, I really do, but this isn’t a good time for me to get into this. Can I take a rain check? Robert’s been working so much these past couple of weeks so we’re not stretched too thin for Christmas, and Adeline isn’t feeling well, and I’m so tired I can hardly see straight. It’s just… I’ve been having a bad day.”
“I’m having a worse day,” I insisted. “Didn’t you hear me? I slept with Ethan! What do I do, Miriam? I think I need to quit my job. It’s the only logical move.”
“Don’t quit your job,” she said in exasperation.
“Well, what do you recommend? I can’t very well walk back in there on Monday morning and pretend nothing happened. And I certainly can’t ever look him in the eye again.”
Bobby started to cry in earnest.
I fell quiet and waited as Miriam stroked his cheek and asked him to hold on a minute. She promised she would fix his truck. He sniffled and shuffled in close so he could rest his head on her lap. She stroked his hair with one hand while rubbing the baby’s back with the other.
“Kathryn, you have a tendency to think every mistake is a crisis. This isn’t a crisis. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. You and Ethan are both adults and I have complete faith you’ll be able to sort through this. That being said, I can’t do this right now. My kids need me and I have so much to do before Robert wakes up. I’m sorry, but I need to ask you to go.”
She was kicking me out? In my time of need?
My lips moved to form words but none came out as Miriam got to her feet and waited expectantly for me to do the same. I did, and she walked me to her front door, where she offered me another apology that didn’t make me feel any better at all.
“I’ll call you when I get a chance to breathe, okay?” Miriam said as the baby started to hiccup and whimper. “You’re going to be fine. You can handle this. Tell me you can handle this.”
“I can handle this.” The words sounded hollow in my ears.
Miriam gave me a weak smile before she closed the door, and I found myself standing on her front step feeling like an idiot. I