though they never knew him.
Dad’s spot at the head of the table remained empty for family dinners now. While we ate, I caught Mom casting longing looks at his spot and his empty setting.
Dana noticed too, so she asked me about work.
“Work is fine,” I said. “Besides Kathryn, of course.”
“Of course,” they all said knowingly.
“She’s more infuriating than ever,” I continued. “And Jon is toying with me. He mentioned something about us working together and now I can’t shake this feeling that he’s going to pair us up. Can you imagine me and Kathryn Rouche, of all people, working together? We’d run the project straight into the ground on the first day. She’s an insufferable witch. Honestly, if you met her, you’d feel the same way.”
My mother and sister shared a look.
I paused with a forkful of gravy-smothered roast beef dangling inches from my mouth. “What was that look?”
“What look?” Dana asked innocently.
“That look. You two just had a conversation about me with your eyes. Don’t deny it. I’m onto you women folk.”
“Women folk?” Dana snickered.
“Spill it,” I demanded.
My mother sipped her wine and shrugged one shoulder. “Dana and I can’t help but wonder if you have a thing for this Kathryn woman. You talk about her endlessly.”
I put my fork down. “Suddenly, I don’t have an appetite anymore. Kathryn? Are you nuts?”
Eli laughed. “Don’t be so dramatic, Ethan.”
I turned incredulously to him. “Did you hear them? They think I have a thing for Kathryn.”
“I’m sitting right here,” my brother said. “I heard what they said.”
I shook my head and couldn’t stop. “Absolutely not. If you met her, you’d understand. She’s intolerable. She’s evil. She’s like a soul-sucking ghoul in the office. Have I told you our new receptionist is terrified of her? I’m not exaggerating. She’s terrified of her.”
Casey dabbed her lips with her napkin. “Powerful women can be seen as frightening by a lot of people. But it’s kind of sexy, isn’t it? A woman who doesn’t care what people think of her?”
“Sexy?” I wheezed. “You don’t understand. There are a lot of adjectives I could use to describe her and sexy isn’t one of them.”
Was that true? Could I seriously claim that Kathryn wasn’t sexy? Was I in denial?
Why did my chest feel so tight?
Casey giggled. “I think Dana and Naomi might be onto something here, Ethan. You do talk about her a lot. More than anyone else, in fact. And you love competition. In fact, you live and breathe for it. Are you sure you find Kathryn Rouche infuriating? Or do you respect her for being such a worthy adversary?”
I stared morosely at my plate of food. “I can’t believe you people ruined a good meal for me. I was looking forward to this all day.”
“Just eat it, you big baby,” Dana said.
Chapter 9
Kathryn
Robert and Miriam lived in a two-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Robert had bought the place six years ago and fixed it up some before Miriam moved in one year later once they were married. It was a charming home with wisteria crawling up the lattice under the porch and a yellow front door presently done up in twinkling Christmas garland. The mat beneath my feet read “We’re Probably Drinking Eggnog” and had little red snowflakes on it.
Miriam was and always had been a bit of a Christmas nut. I wasn’t sure when it had started because she and I spent a great portion of our childhood living together and I never felt the same love for the holiday.
She and I grew up in the foster system together. We spent four years in a house together and that was the happiest I ever remember being as a child. We’d been eight when we arrived and twelve when we were sent back into the system after our foster parents became pregnant with twins after being told by doctors that they couldn’t actually have children. Miriam and I were happy for them. They were good people—kind people. They had a lot of love to share and my best friend and I knew how lucky we were to have that love for ourselves, even if it was just for four years.
Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. I knew then how much guilt the parents struggled with, but I also knew how difficult it would have been for them to have two babies and still take care of Miriam and me as we entered high school. I understood it but that didn’t mean I didn’t grieve