Stages of Grace - By Carey Heywood Page 0,58

When we get back into the car, Ryan takes a turn driving. One thing we learn on our journey is we don't like the same music. Ryan is a fan of hard rock. Me? More pop and emo. Compromising, we alternate stations every so often. While Ryan is driving I think more about what Jon said. I'm having a hard time processing his surprise visit, and since we left, this is really my first opportunity to think about it. Am I making a mistake going to Florida?

I'd been with him for three years. It’s impossible to not feel a sense of loss at our separation. I wonder if things could have been different if I'd stayed. I have a habit of obsessing over what ifs. The more I think about it, the more depressed I become. I'm so distracted I don’t realize Ryan has been talking to me.

"Grace?"

"Huh?" I glance at him.

"I just asked if you thought we should stop at the next rest area. A sign we passed said it would be the last one for some time."

"Uh, sorry. Sure, I guess that would be a good idea. It would be nice to stretch my legs."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just zoned off there for a bit. Sorry."

"No need to apologize" he says, reassuring me.

Ryan moves over to the right hand lane in preparation for the upcoming turn off. I stare out the window, seeing Ryan's glances from the corner of my eye. I keep my head forward, and he frowns. I decide to stop thinking about Jon. It’s clear it's affecting my mood and that he can sense it. Plastering a somewhat false smile to my face, I tell him after our stop we should play the license plate game. Ryan has never heard of it so while he takes the exit and parks I explain the rules to him.

"I have to warn you I'm very good at this game," I say competitively.

"At least there's no punching in this game, and maybe I'll have beginner’s luck."

"Doubtful" I beam.

His mouth drops, and I laugh as I head to the ladies’ restroom. When we meet back at the car, he asks if I want a snack or drink before we leave.

"Nah. Traffic isn’t bad so let's try and see if we can make it to Virginia before dinner."

"You just want to start your game."

"Maybe."

"Cheeky thing, aren’t you?" He grins.

I stick my tongue out at him and get into the car, then grab a sheet of paper from my purse and make a column for each of us. Ryan tries to call out cars from the parking lot, but I tell him to focus on getting out without hitting anyone and we will start once we are back on the freeway. By West Virginia, I have a substantial lead, and he glances over often at the sheet and shakes his head.

"I will now call you eagle eye. Really. Do you see better than 20 /20?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. It's been a long time since I've seen an eye doctor."

"But you work in a doctor’s office. Don’t they do eye exams?"

"I'm sure I have a short one during my annual check ups, but I don’t remember anyone ever making a big deal about my vision so I think your eagle eye theory is lacking, buddy."

"I'm only saying this because I used to always have vision problems. Last year, I finally got Lasik. Life changing."

"How so?"

"I had to find my glasses to see the alarm clock right next to my bed."

My mouth drops. "Yikes. That’s bad. I can't picture you with glasses."

"I wore contacts a lot. Hated them."

"I've heard they can be irritating." I think about Jon and how he used to complain about his.

"If you want to see a picture of me with glasses, you can look in my wallet" his wallet is sitting in one of the drink holders.

"I'm not going to look through—NEVADA!—your wallet."

"Shit, another one. Grace, seriously. It’s sitting right there. Besides, if you're distracted, I may catch up in this infuriating game."

"You've got two chances, slim and none. And we overtook slim a while back."

Ryan rolls his eyes but laughs and I grin as I reach for his wallet. It’s a worn, brown leather tri-fold. Flipping it open, I can only see the top of his license and pull it out. Ryan looks younger with his glasses. They are small, wire-rimmed ones and make him look very studious.

"You looked so cute" I giggle.

"Looked? I'm not cute anymore?"

I copy Ryan's eye roll