St Matthew's Passion - By Sam Archer Page 0,41
and began to polish them absently. ‘Can’t you imagine how many times I’ve seen this before? Young doctors pass through this department every year. Confident, energetic young men and women bursting with vitality. Of course they fall in love from time to time. It would be unusual if they didn’t. We’re human, after all, not machines, even if often we’re expected to work like them.’ He replaced his glasses and peered at her, the kindness back in his gaze. ‘You’re a highly professional doctor, Ms Havers. And you take your job seriously. That means I have every confidence that you’ll rise above these “personal issues”, or whatever you call them, and get on with your work without letting yourself be sidetracked. People do it all the time. How? I can’t answer that, nor should I have to. You just… find a way and do it.’
Her face pounding with shame, Melissa said, ‘But you must have heard the… gossip.’
Again he waved his hand. ‘Oh, I never pay attention to anything like that. The moment anyone mentions something remotely salacious about a member of staff I change the subject, or walk away. I’ve never heard anything said about you, and even if I had, I wouldn’t take any notice of it, unless you were clearly being maligned.’ He beamed, raising his eyebrows. ‘You need to learn not to take things so seriously, Melissa. Your job, yes, that’s important. But things like gossip, whispers behind your back – it all comes with the territory. Just ignore it. Life’s too short to worry about things like that.’
Melissa became aware that she was staring at the professor, and looked away. She felt deflated, yet at the same time a tiny glint of hope had arisen in her. Was he right? Was she making a big fuss over something that in the end wasn’t really all that important? And in the process, was she wrecking her own career?
Her eyes, roving around the room as she struggled with her thoughts and feelings, alighted on a photograph on the wall. She’d seen it before; it had been taken a couple of years earlier at the American Medical Association’s annual meeting in Boston, where Professor Penney had been invited to give a keynote speech. In the picture, the professor was flanked by the President of the AMA and another big name in the US medical field.
On the other side of Prof Penney stood Fin, a half-smile on his face, a wry look in his eyes.
Yes, Melissa could withdraw her resignation and make a go of her time at St Matthew’s. She could behave with the utmost decorum, steering clear of Fin in any situation where there wasn’t somebody else to chaperone them.
But she would still see Fin every day, and the knowledge that they would forever be apart would crush her. Destroy her heart, and her spirit. Better not to be reminded of him every day, each glimpse of him giving a fresh twist to the knife.
Melissa centred herself, focusing on her breathing. When she felt ready, she gazed levelly at the professor opposite.
‘Professor Penney, I appreciate what you’ve said. I really do. But my mind’s made up. I’m leaving the post in one month’s time.’
His eyes followed her as she rose.
‘Is there nothing I can say that will dissuade you?’ he said quietly.
‘I’m afraid not.’
He shook his head sadly. ‘Then do what you must. Such a waste.’
At the door she glanced back, saw the professor hunched over his desk, his fingers steepled in front of him, his brow furrowed.
***
Melissa was in the canteen, queuing up at the hot food counter with an as yet empty tray, when a hand clamped around her arm. Startled, she looked round to see Emma, grim-faced. The other registrar marched off towards one of the unoccupied corner tables, half-hauling Melissa with her. At the table Emma sat her down on one of the chairs and dropped down opposite her.
‘Have you lost your mind?’
Melissa shrugged. Professor Penney might not be a gossip, but he certainly didn’t keep Melissa’s resignation a secret for long. ‘You’ve heard. I was going to tell you later, after work.’
‘I’ve heard, because Prof asked Jenny to write a letter to Human Resources asking them to draft an advertisement for Mr Finmore-Gage’s registrar post.’ Jenny was the professor’s secretary. ‘She grabbed me as soon as she saw me, and let me know. You know how she can’t keep a secret.’
‘Everyone’s bound to find out, sooner or later.’ Melissa was torn between