dropped into bed within a few minutes of eating and showering. But tonight was different. He felt restless, on edge, more awake than ever. When he was sure the fire had taken, he went to the kitchen to rummage around in the cupboards. He avoided grocery shopping as much as he could. No reason to stock up when he lived alone; he usually just got takeout from someplace downtown. But that meant on nights like this one, all he had on hand was a can of tomato soup and some crackers.
He opened a beer—always plenty of that in the fridge—and dumped the soup into a saucepan. He flipped on the television, more to fill the quiet than because he wanted to watch anything. He channel surfed until he found a basketball game and left it there.
While he was waiting for the soup to warm, he walked to his bedroom, peeled off his shirt and workout pants, and tossed them in the general direction of the laundry pile. He grabbed a clean T-shirt and sweats and was about to pull them on when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Serious expression. A few gray hairs at his temples. Tiny lines at the edges of his eyes that stood out in the dim light. He took a couple steps closer.
“I’m gettin’ old.” And he didn’t turn thirty until next year. Well, that was what a decade of hard partying and eight months in jail did to you.
I should be one of those guest speakers at a school. He could tell teens what choices not to make and how to find friends who wouldn’t betray them. Then he reconsidered. “Imagine me in a school.” He’d barely done enough to get by before dropping out after the eleventh grade. School was the last place he would ever spend time as an adult, no matter how much life advice he had to give.
He glanced outside. Stars covered the night sky, with snowflakes coming down every so often. Something inside him twinged, a longing for something he wasn’t sure he’d ever have. Be nice to have someone to look at the sky with. The thought, silly and dramatic, surprised him. He’d been screwed but good by his ex out in Los Angeles. He hadn’t dated anyone seriously since returning to Whispering Pines. You trusted someone, and eventually they let you down. That was the story of life. He’d seen it happen to more good guys than he could count. As much as he liked Sienna, as much as he enjoyed talking to her and training her and thinking about her when she wasn’t around, getting involved would only lead to heartbreak.
He knew that better than anyone.
Chapter Seven
The next day, World War Three broke out in Room Eighteen.
“I wanted peanut butter!” Billy shrieked at the top of his lungs. He threw himself onto the rug and began to beat his hands and feet against the floor.
Sienna took a deep breath. They’d been reading the monthly lunch menu for practice sounding out words. Today’s cold lunch was ham and cheese on wheat bread. No peanut butter in sight. Thus the tantrum.
Silas climbed into his chair and rocked so hard the books on the shelf nearby vibrated. Caleb sat at the table, head bent over his math sheets. Bailey watched his brother, wide-eyed, probably about to join in the shrieking. Sienna glanced at Dawn, who was chewing at her cuticles and making them bleed.
“Silas, honey, let’s take it down a notch.” She handed him a wooden Jacob’s Ladder toy. He clutched it in both hands and looked at her for a moment, confused. Then the rocking slowed as he began to flip the pieces of the toy over and back.
Billy’s cries grew weaker, and she decided to risk letting him wear himself out. She patted Bailey on the back and handed him the alphabet coloring sheets he’d been working on earlier. “Bailey, please sit down,” she said as she pulled out a chair across from Caleb.
As Bailey climbed into the chair and took a red crayon in one fist, his brother looked up, still prone in the middle of the room. “I wanted peanut butter,” he said in a mournful voice.
“I know, honey,” Sienna said, “but we don’t always get what we want.” Boy, she knew that better than anyone. On impulse, she walked over and pulled him onto her lap, cradling him in a hug before smoothing his hair and handing him a tissue. He left