From the heat radiating off him, his blown pupils, she suspected a glance downward would make his current state even more undeniable.
His hand tightened over hers. “And for the most part, I wasn’t different in private. Not until I knew them and trusted their discretion. Once I did trust them . . .” He leaned back a tad and ran his free hand through his hair. “I tried to transition slowly. At that point, things fell apart, for obvious reasons.”
With those bare centimeters of distance, she could breathe a little more easily. But her thinking remained muddled by pheromones and the lightning strike of lust, and she had no idea what he meant.
At her frown, he elaborated. “They began dating me based on my public persona, and then found themselves with someone entirely different. Someone inexplicable and kind of boring. When I’m not filming or working out, I like to stay home and listen to audiobooks, or go online, or wr—” He paused. “Or ride horses. Or watch baking shows with Alex. I was, um—”
When he took a half step away, the morning chill sneaked between them. “I was a disappointment, I guess.”
To his exes, the change must have seemed inexplicable. And to Marcus . . . dammit. He must have felt rejected for who he really was. Again.
“On top of that, dating someone in the public eye is hard on a relationship, even without other issues,” he said. “You’ve already experienced a few of the downsides. Did the paparazzi find you last week?”
“Yeah.” If she sounded like she didn’t care, that was almost entirely the truth. Especially at this moment, with this man only inches away.
Now that the fog had lifted, sunshine highlighted the starbursts of fine lines at the corners of his solemn eyes, the brackets surrounding his perfect mouth, the creases running across that noble forehead. Somehow the lines didn’t look like flaws, even in the unfiltered, unforgiving glare. Instead, they only transformed his unmistakable prettiness into something earthier, something she could grasp in her fist and take between her teeth and consume.
Honestly, if she hadn’t begun to like him so much, she would find his excessive handsomeness extremely aggravating. And despite all her affection, she still wanted to rumple all that beauty, wanted to sink her fingers into that shiny, silky hair and pull, even as she traced the jut of his jaw, sharp as flint, with her tongue.
What sound would he make if she bit him there?
When he swallowed, his throat bobbed. “Is that why you changed your number?”
He was breathing faster now, and fuck, she wanted him gasping in need. For her. Only her.
She shrugged. “Once they figured out my name, I had a few calls and some pictures taken. But changing my number helped, and they seemed to lose interest after a couple of days.” Once they concluded we weren’t dating anymore. “I figure the reprieve will end soon, and that’s okay. It’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
What strangers said didn’t concern her.
Her mother’s phone calls, however, she’d dodged since that first date.
“Are you sure?” With a gentle fingertip, he urged her face toward his again. “Because you’re right. They’ll find us again. Find you. If you decided to protect your privacy and stop seeing me, I’d understand.”
He’d bared himself metaphorically for her today. It was enough. More than enough, despite the dangers of their involvement.
So she had every intention of baring him literally. Tonight, if possible.
“Maybe you’d understand. I wouldn’t.” Boldly, she stepped into him again. “If I want you, I’m not letting a few strangers with cameras stop me from having you.”
Dropping her hand from his chest, she slid it around to his back. Slipped a fingertip below the hem of his sweater and teased the hot, bare skin just above his jeans.
As he bit off a rough sound, she walked him back, back, back, their thighs tangling with each step, until he was pressed against a sturdy-looking wrought-iron fence, and she was pressed tight to him.
Her heart was thumping hard enough to shake her, and it wasn’t due to all that caffeine.
Once she got on tiptoe, she laid her mouth on his jaw. The merest hint of stubble abraded her lips, a welcome friction. The tight-stretched flesh there tasted like salt on her tongue, and vibrated with his low moan.
She took that skin between her teeth and licked.
His hips bucked, and she gloried in the way he ground against her so fiercely, just for one mindless moment.
“What do you