Splintered Memory - By Natascha Holloway Page 0,99
he felt guilty for playing with her like this and he decided to tell her right away that he knew about her memory.
“I know that you’ve got your memory back,” he said.
“What?” She asked clearly trying to feign confusion but looking as guilty as sin as she did.
“Let’s just say that your best friend and my best friend are both useless at keeping secrets,” he said smiling if only to try and lighten the moment.
“When did you find out?” She asked, but she was looking at him so guiltily that he was starting to feel guilty for making her look at him this way.
“I found out on Saturday,” he said.
Charlie looked lost for words, and the awkwardness and tension between them continued to mount. Matt was actually starting to think that their silences were becoming audible.
“I’m not angry or upset with you,” he said reaching out to touch her hand.
She looked from his hand, which he’d put on top of hers, to his face where she met his eyes head on. “I didn’t want you to know,” she said sounding apologetic.
“I know,” he said.
The silence surrounded them again, and it was clear to him that she had no idea what to say to him. Then he wasn’t sure that he knew what to say to her either.
“I’ve broken up with Emily,” he said.
“That’s not what I wanted. I’m so sorry. I could kill Claire and Rich,” she said.
“Please don’t,” he said smiling. “I quite like my best friend, and yours is finally starting to grow on me. Plus I’m glad they told me. I’m glad I know.”
“But I’ve ruined your relationship with Emily,” she said guiltily.
“Erm no,” he said smiling at her; “I’m not sure you can take the credit for that.”
“Oh,” she said. She then smiled cheekily and asked; “did she get fed up with the terrible conversation, laziness around the house, and poor standard of sex?”
Matt burst out laughing and said; “in a nutshell.”
“No seriously,” Charlie said no longer smiling. “Did you end things before or after you found out about my memory?” She asked looking intently into his eyes again.
“After, but,” he said holding up his finger to silence her before she could say anything. “The relationship hadn’t been working since it’d started. I don’t love Emily. I never loved her. I’ve never got over you,” he said sincerely.
“I’m sorry that I walked out on you,” she said.
“I’m not,” he said honestly. “If you hadn’t then you might never have gotten your memory back.”
He guessed that Charlie was conceding this point, because she just shrugged in response.
“I’m sorry that I was such a rotten husband to you when you had no memory,” he said.
“Please don’t say things like that,” she said putting her right hand on top of his. “It was a rotten situation, and you did the best that you could. The best that anyone could have done, but I didn’t know how to be around you and I pushed you away. God, Matt, if it had been the other way around I don’t think I could have coped with you not knowing me.”
He felt a huge wave of relief. It seemed that all of the guilt that he’d felt about how he’d handled those six months after she’d come home from the hospital had suddenly gone. To hear her say that she didn’t think that she’d have been able to cope had the shoe been on the other foot, seemed to have him in some way absolved him of his guilt about how he’d been with her. He no longer felt as torn apart as he had done just minutes earlier. She didn’t hate him, and she didn’t blame he thought happily.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said.
“What for,” he queried.
“For trying for as long as you did,” she said.
The guilt rebounded and hit him squarely in the chest again. This was it he knew. This was the moment where he had to come clean with her about everything, and he could only hope that she’d still be this understanding towards him then.
“Charlie,” he said pulling his right hand out from between the two of hers; “there are some things that I have to tell you, and when I’m done you might not feel the way you do now.”
“Okay,” she said. Unfortunately he heard the hesitancy in her tone, and he could see the look of uncertainty in her eyes. Yet he took a deep breath and began.