perfect evening to me. “Sounds good.”
But it isn’t good, it’s torture. For the next three hours, we eat, we watch TV, we discuss the murders on our show, and I feel like I’m falling for him even more. It’s just so effortless. The distance when he was gone was good for me; it made it easier to ignore my feelings. But now, spending time with him and seeing his grins, smelling his cologne, and being within touching distance, it’s more than hard. It’s almost agony. I wish feelings could be shut off. I wish I could just look at him and see my very close best friend who would do anything for me. Problem is, when I look at him, I see a future. I see us having a place together, getting married, adopting a few dogs, and then having kids.
But I know all he sees is his best friend.
I really fucked up by getting close to him, but in my defense, I didn’t have a choice. None of us Assassins kids did. We were stuck together, and we’re all friends. All close. While everyone knew about Shelli’s huge crush on Aiden—and teased her relentlessly—I made sure mine wasn’t ever noticeable or even a possibility. I did such a good job of hiding my real feelings that no one but my mom knows. It’s frustrating. Not with him—I’m not frustrated with Asher—I’m frustrated with myself because I have the power to change it all.
But I’m a coward.
When the last episode ends, Asher shakes his head and looks at me. “I bet when Emery is on this show, Stella will be the one who does her makeup.”
My stomach hurts, I laugh so hard. “Stop!”
“Seriously,” he says with wide eyes. “You’ll see.” He clicks off Netflix and goes to Hulu. “Wanna watch Catfish?”
“Sure.”
But unbeknownst to me, the episode he turns on is one where the girl best friend is catfishing the boy best friend. As the episode plays, I’m in knots, while Asher doesn’t even seem to care. I watch in horror but also in hope that he’ll turn to me and tell me he loves me. It’s a long shot, but a girl can dream. Soon, I’m wondering if maybe I should catfish Asher. Find out if he likes me in that way and then make my move.
But then I remember my life isn’t a reality show, and more than likely, I wouldn’t get a happily ever after. I’d get a “I lost my best friend because I’m dumb and brought him on national television to expose my love.”
“That is crazy.”
I whip my head to him. “Yeah?”
“Heck yeah. If she had just been honest and told him, she wouldn’t have needed to hide. They spent so much time apart, all because she wouldn’t tell him.”
I start to rub my temple. “Right?”
Asher looks at me, playfulness in those gray depths. “Don’t catfish me, okay?”
My eyes almost bug out of my head, and my heart stops. “Huh?”
He laughs. “I’m kidding!”
I force a laugh. “Yeah, duh.” I squeeze my eyes shut as I lean my head on the back of the couch. I can’t do this anymore. I gotta go to bed to get away from him. I could just go home, but I don’t want him to suspect anything. “I’m tired.”
“Me too,” he says, shutting off the TV and then standing. “Aiden said the sheets are new, so we’ll be good.”
I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“What? Why? There is plenty of room in that bed, and this couch is not comfortable. I’ve slept on it before.” He stands over me. “Don’t be a weirdo. Come on.”
I’m not trying to be a weirdo! I’m trying to resist you, you big lug! “You don’t think that’s weird?”
His brows touch. “Huh, what?”
“Us in the same bed.”
“No. Why would it be?”
Duh, Ally. He doesn’t want to bang you, remember? I get up and follow him into the bedroom while he shuts off the lights. As I crawl into bed, he kicks off his jeans, showing off some incredibly thick, hairy thighs. His T-shirt is long so I can’t see anything, but man, I wish I could. He climbs into bed and covers up as I cling to the edge so I don’t touch him. If I do, I cannot be responsible for my actions.
I know for a fact that I’ll hump every inch of him.
I let out a sigh, and he asks, “You okay?”
“I’m tired.”
“Oh, okay,” he says as he