you’ll actually buy one of my books next time.”
“I always buy your books.” Of course, I couldn’t truly remember buying any of them, but I owned them all, so I must have.
“I always give you my books.”
Probably true. I just sighed. She had me.
“I buy all your books, and read them from cover to cover. But you already know that, babe,” Uncle Federico’s voice boomed as he moved in closer to us. He had been standing a couple feet away, arranging his olives on the table.
Lisa turned to face him. “Ooh, tell me more,” she flirted, moving up closer to him. “I love when you talk books to me.”
He grinned and chuckled, flashing a set of perfect white teeth. Uncle Federico had one of those deep, guttural laughs that could charm most any woman, even Lisa who had a crush on him since she was a little girl. He was in his mid-forties, with rich brown hair, graying temples, bedroom eyes and a body that was sculptured from years of working in the grove. He dressed in casual cool, jeans mostly, and either a white fitted shirt or V-necked tees. He always wore a thick silver necklace that his dad, my grandpa, gave him when he turned sixteen.
Uncle Federico had a sexiness to him that attracted all types of women, but he wasn’t much interested in a steady relationship. Said he didn’t want to be tied down to one woman. My mom said he’d gotten burned once and never recovered from the loss. A short fling was about all any female hopeful was ever going to get out of him.
“Your books aren’t just for girls. Men can get a lot out of them, too.”
She moved in closer and gave him a hug. “You know I love you.”
He kissed her on both cheeks. “Love you too, babe. It’s great to see you here. Haven’t seen you at the orchard in a long time. Where you been hiding?”
She pulled away from him. “In my apartment in the city. Doing a lot of writing. You should stop by sometime. I could show you my process.”
Lisa was a blatant flirt, especially when it came to Federico.
A big smile creased his lips. “Love to, but my olives are waiting to be picked. They’re my first love, babe. Sorry. Always pure and they never lie.” He winked. “Besides, Gloria won’t let me wander too far during picking season. I haven’t been off the property in days.”
“Damn that woman.” Lisa gave him a sly little chuckle as if they were sharing a secret. “Always in our way.”
“Matter of fact, I was on my way to talk to her right now.”
I said, “When you find her would you please send her my way? I’ve been trying to get her alone all night.”
“Will do,” he said. “Great seeing you, Lisa.” And he walked off into the crowd.
“You wouldn’t seriously have sex with Federico, would you? I mean, the man has a dark past, not to mention that he raised me since I was twelve so he’s kind of like a dad, and I don’t truly know all he’s been into.”
Her eyebrow arched.
“Don’t answer that,” I said.
“By the way,” she said, “speaking of dark pasts. You think I could get a moment alone with Dickey? I’d like to ask him a few questions. I’m thinking of doing a follow-up to my bad boys guide . . . Truly Bad Boys.”
“If you can pin him down he’ll probably answer anything you throw at him. He seems to be in a good mood.”
“Thanks for the tip,” she said, and went off looking for Dickey.
Tapenade – Level Two
1/2 cup pitted black olives
1 cup pitted Kalamata olives
2 tbs. Italian capers, rinsed
2 desalted anchovy fillets, salted anchovies will also work
1 lg. clove of garlic
1/4 cup Italian parsley, no stems
2 tbs. grated Parmesan-Reggiano cheese
2 tbs. sweet wine
2 tbs. pine nuts, toasted, not chopped
1/4 cup EVOO, use an Italian blend for extra flavor
Using a sharp paring knife, finely chop olives, capers, anchovies, garlic, and parsley. Take your time doing this and enjoy the aromas of each of these foods. Breathe deeply, allowing the tension and the need to dissipate. When everything is sufficiently diced and sliced, and you’re feeling less stressed, (this may take a double recipe) gather ingredients into a deep, narrow bowl and add the wine, being careful not to drink any of it yourself. Note: you may want to substitute a fruity vinegar depending on your conviction level. Slowly add the oil until the