releasing me so fast I slipped to the ground. My legs and arms were boneless, useless things. I sat hard, staring up at him.
He put out a hand, then quickly pulled it back as if touching me would scorch him. “Sorry, princess. I can’t take the chance.”
“What chance? You were willing enough before. What’s changed?”
“Everything. You’re leaving.”
“You knew that.” I put my hands flat against the dirt and pushed. I managed to stagger to my feet, dizzy and aching. I pulled a cigarette from its case and lit it, my hand shaking so badly that I dropped three matches before I managed to kindle a flame.
“I thought you might change your mind after you spent some time here.”
“Well, I won’t.” I took several long pulls off my cigarette before I spoke again. “You’re just full of surprises,” I said finally.
“Don’t make me talk about it. I can’t explain it.”
“No, I don’t think you can. I ought to be insulted. I don’t get turned down very often. But this isn’t about you not wanting me, is it? I’m a big girl, Ryder. I know when a man wants me. And I know you want me so badly right now it’s taking everything you have not to throw me down right here. You don’t even have to tell me I’m right. I can see your hands shaking. I know you’re hard for me.”
I had meant it as a jibe, but his face was serious. “You think it’s the first time? I’m used to this by now, Delilah. It takes nothing these days. The sound of your voice, the smell of your perfume. Hell, you don’t even have to be around. All I have to do is think about you and I’m so ready I could take this damn place apart rock by rock just to get to you.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything about it? You’re not the only one suffering, you know.”
“Don’t,” he ordered.
“That’s it? That’s all I get? You’ll let me get you good and ready, but then you won’t use it to repay the favour? Naughty, naughty, Ryder. Didn’t anyone ever teach you it’s not nice to be selfish?”
His hands were clenching and unclenching on his thighs. “I don’t hit women,” he said, half to himself.
“But you’d like to,” I went on, softly. “You’d like to put something into me, and if it isn’t going to be what we both want, why not your fist?”
I ground out my cigarette on my boot and stood close to him. I picked up his hand, that closed, fisted hand, and I opened it, coaxing the fingers to spread wide. His palm was open and flat, vulnerable, and I pressed my mouth into it, nipping lightly with my teeth.
He clapped his other hand to the back of my head, shoving it upward until he found my mouth. It wasn’t a kiss. It was an assault, and I hurt him right back, biting his lip. I tasted juniper and blood and I twisted my hands in his hair, pulling him closer.
I wasn’t surprised when he broke the kiss. He twisted away, and grabbed both my hands in his.
“Delilah,” he said, and there was pleading in his voice.
“It’s all right,” I told him. “I’m done. I won’t push it any more.”
He released my hands. I put one to the front of his trousers, cupping hard.
“I just wanted both of you to have something to think about when you’re lying awake tonight.”
I turned and walked back to my tent. I had had the last word. It wasn’t much consolation, but it would have to do.
Much later, long after the moon had set, I awoke, my heart slamming into my ribs. I sat up, straining my eyes, and could just make out a shadow beyond the flap of my tent. It did not move, but I heard a low, carrying howl. The sound came from some distance away, and I watched the still shadow crouching in front of my tent.
Over the howl came a series of unearthly cries, shrieks that could only mean one thing: the hyena had found the lion. I listened to them until I couldn’t stand it anymore. My hands were knotted in the sheets, and it took everything I had to unclench them. A line of sweat beaded my hairline as I heard them, snarling and snapping as they dismantled the body. It seemed to go on for hours, those maddening, horrifying sounds as they broke the lion apart, and all the while