I freeze, my back to them as I lick my lips. I should tell her to stop.
“And it was up to the princess to break the spell. Not a godmother. Not a good fairy. It had to be her.”
There’s a pause.
“She needs to be very brave,” Emily says and then her voice shifts as she speaks more directly to my daughter. “Do you think Princess Katie is brave?”
I look up, watching as my baby girl stares up at this stranger. Is she a fairy godmother? Could she be a mother to a child who isn’t her own? It’s something I haven’t ever imagined—marrying again, falling in love, giving Katie a new mother—until recently.
“I think Princess Katie is very brave,” Emily states and I wonder if I’m half as brave as my child, who has locked herself in an impenetrable cage.
“There is a condition to Katie’s spell. On the night of the fire in the sky, three secrets whispered in her ear by a good fairy will help the princess find the courage to break the spell.” There is another pause in her altered voice, and she stares down at my child, as if holding her breath, waiting for Katie to agree to something.
Good luck, woman. It’s not going to happen. No words will escape those tight lips.
“Should that be the end? A cliffhanger where we don’t know the truth? Or will it be true? On the night of fire in the sky, with three secrets revealed, will Princess Katie be unlocked from her spell?”
Now, I hold my breath. Will she answer Emily?
“Do we need a beast or a prince? A knight in shining armor, perhaps?” I chuckle to myself, knowing Emily doesn’t believe in that part of the story. No man needs to fix her. So efficient. Sometimes, I think she’s the stubborn one, but there’s a vulnerability to her.
No one’s ever picked me.
Jesus, men are stupid beasts.
“Actually, the beast already has a story where he learns to love and then receives love in return, so that idea is already taken. And then the guy who steals a shoe, that’s gone as well. Let’s see…” Emily pauses. “Girl in a tower. Nope. Mermaid under the sea. Nope. I guess since this is Princess Katie’s story, we’ll leave it up to the princess to save herself, because she is brave enough to do it on her own.”
I’ve finished a second panel and move onto the third when I hear Emily say, “Good enough to write ‘The End?’” Another silent pause. “Then time for pictures.” She has everything set up. I’m assuming she didn’t have colored pencils laying around, so it’s another gift for my daughter. Emily is thoughtful.
“Katie,” Emily’s voice shifts. “I want to tell you another story, about my nana.” I glance up to see Emily stroking Katie’s hair behind her ear, her voice soothing as she tenderly touches my child.
“My nana died. Do you know what that means?” Without waiting on any acknowledgement from Katie, Emily continues. “It means she went away, and I won’t ever see her again. She’s in heaven. Do you know where that is?”
Katie looks up at the sky, and my heart beats three times as fast as it should. I never had to have this conversation because Katie was still so small when my father was killed. She was too young to understand and newly under her silent spell.
Jesus, now I’m even using Emily’s label for it.
“When a person goes to heaven, they can’t come back, honey. It’s just the way of things. I’m going to leave soon too, Katie bug, but I’m not going to heaven. I’m going to my home because I don’t live here. This is Nana’s place, but I want you to know I’ll be missing you every day. And maybe . . . maybe I can come back here someday and see you.”
Her voice sounds thick, and I watch as Emily closes her eyes.
Dammit. Don’t do it. Don’t go.
“I was scared when Nana left me, but I know she’ll always be in my heart. Her memories will always be inside my head, and I’ll love her forever despite our distance. Anyway, I must be very brave now that Nana’s gone. I need to make all kinds of decisions, and I need to stay strong. Just like I know you’ll be strong when I go because you know that I . . . I care about you.”
She fights the words I know she wants to say because I told her