Ollie’s arm. It was more than he needed for an excuse to get out of there. He stood, and so did Joy.
“Yeah. It was good seeing you too,” Scott said, his voice softening with tenderness. “Maybe we could catch up sometime?”
“Maybe,” Joy said. She smiled politely. It wasn’t the same smile she used when she was genuinely happy, and Ollie wondered if Scott knew that. Probably. That’s what worried him.
Chapter 19
Ollie and Joy were halfway to her house before she finally broke the tension and let the words spill. By that time she was clearly worked up, even more so than the night before.
“Why didn’t Dusten tell me he was roommates with Scott?” She sounded perturbed.
Ollie didn’t have an answer for that. He had nothing interesting to say. He was completely lost for words and lost for emotion; numb. Lost.
In a few more steps, she had tightened her grip on his hand. When she had first seen Scott her grip had conveyed anxiety. This time it was a plea, asking him not to let her go. She buried her head into his chest and let go of his hand so that he could wrap his arm around her as they walked.
“He was my boyfriend in high school.”
Ollie felt like he’d been stabbed, but he soldiered on. “I assumed it was something like that.” He paused, breathing, hoping she couldn’t feel his heart racing. “I’m guessing he was the one to break up with you? I mean, bumping into him seemed a lot harder on you than it was on him.” The words just came out. Sure, he was wondering that, but giving voice to the worry made him feel like he was being insensitive. What he needed to do, and he knew it, was to let her tell her story. He couldn’t help himself.
“No, that’s not true. I broke up with him.” Her voice was choked. “We still hadn’t broken up after I moved to Missouri. After I was there for about a month, I broke things off.”
She sounded to Ollie like she was confessing something, not relating the events of a story. “So you didn’t like the long distance relationship thing. That’s never easy.”
“Yes, in a way, but mostly… it was just the best thing to do at the time. I felt like I was going to hold him back from… from his life, if I didn’t cut things off. It was the best thing for him.”
“I don’t understand, Joy. Why would you hold him back? And from what; moving on and finding another girl?”
“That’s part of it.” She sighed. “But it’s going to be okay.” Her eyes were vacant. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve dealt with it, but lately… I’ve realized I still need to sort some things out inside.”
Ollie walked her home in silence the rest of the way. He said goodnight on the same doorstep as the night before. Throughout the evening he had been thinking about stealing the first kiss, but that was out of the question— just like every night before. Once again he gave her a warm hug, once again he watched her slip through her door.
As he walked home, he thought about this guy, this Scott.
It didn’t seem like he should be a huge deal. But Scott was obviously quite fond of her still, and that was an unsettling thought. Scott had said he wanted to get together with her, to catch up again. From what little Ollie knew about him, he was sure that Scott was the kind of guy who would find a way to make that happen.
Plus, there were still a lot of things on Joy’s mind, things she wasn’t telling him. He was going to need to get them out of her— somehow— before they could move on.
Sparks was sitting at Ollie’s desk when he returned, saving him the effort of putting the hat back on. “I think we’re going to be okay.”
“You’re not giving me a whole lot of reasons to feel secure here, Sparks. What’s making things so cloudy all of a sudden?”
“It’s cloudy because she still doesn’t know how she feels.”
“Well, how is that fair?”
“Bomber, there’s a cheer for that,” Sparks said, standing. “Women are like, ‘WHO ARE WE?’” He held his hands like pompoms to one side, like a cheerleader gesturing to one side of a stadium. “And they answer, ‘WOMEN!’” he held his imaginary pompoms to the opposite side. “And then they say, ‘WHAT DO WE WANT?’ and they answer, ‘WE DON’T KNOW!’