I need to get straight with Lace.”
I dug deep for my attitude. Finding it, I brandished it once we were through the club and outside. “What things might those be?”
“It’s time to make you mine. But before I do, I think you need to see the world around you a lot more clearly.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my eyesight,” I said, hurrying to keep up with his long strides.
“You have a limited perspective. My fault, not yours. I used to think it was cute.” War gave me a disapproving look. “Your innocent schoolgirl facade. But you’re not a girl anymore, and you’re not innocent, just uneducated.”
I frowned. “Just because I haven’t done all the things you have doesn’t mean I’m uneducated in the ways of the world. It just means I’m not jaded by them like you are.”
“We’ll revisit this discussion later,” War said cryptically.
• • •
Later, revisiting wasn’t necessary, and it came way too soon.
Inside Kyle’s apartment, I wasn’t so far from our school, which I only thought was rough; or from my uncle’s place, which I only thought was inhospitable; or from my boyfriend, who I only thought was dangerous.
Here, War was rough without any soft edges, inhospitable to the point of nearly being cruel, and so dangerous, no one made eye contact with him unless he made it first.
“She’s a pretty one.” The second dealer War introduced me to gave me the same leering once-over the other one had. “Martin likes blondes.”
“I don’t give a fuck about Martin Skellin’s fetishes,” War said. “She’s my girlfriend. He can like her all he wants. He just can’t touch.”
Liking that he seemed to be defending me after I screwed up, I scooted closer to his side.
“War, old buddy.” Sniffing and rubbing his nose, Kyle joined us.
I’d seen him when we entered his apartment. It was impossible to ignore a bunch of guys, him being one of them, doing lines of coke off a naked brunette who was lying on the coffee table. She was still there, letting guys flick their cigarettes on her like she was an ashtray.
Why would any woman sink that low?
“I’d be more careful about spouting absolutes regarding Martin in front of Gary if I were you, War,” Kyle said, tipping his head toward the leering dealer.
“I’m not a blabber, you douchebag.” Sneering now rather than leering, Gary suddenly produced a blade.
“You’re such a hothead.” Kyle didn’t even blink at the knife. His pupils probably couldn’t get any smaller if he did. “Put that sticker away, Gary. This is a party. Find a girl and party. No disrespect. Just good times, tonight. ’Kay?”
“Okay.” Gary closed the blade and pocketed it.
“Good man.” Kyle patted him on the back as he turned away. “Ready to go upstairs?” he asked War after only a brief scan to acknowledge me.
“Fuck yeah,” War said.
My heart sank. I didn’t think upstairs would be better than downstairs. Unfortunately, I was right.
“It smells bad up here,” I whispered to War, gripping his hand tighter. I’d had a death grip on him since we’d traversed the maze of blitzed-out heroin junkies on the stairs.
“Didn’t notice. More accepting of my surroundings, I guess,” he said roughly, pulling me with him into a narrow bathroom with two vanities.
“What’s your poison going to be tonight?” Kyle asked, his back to us while he opened a cabinet door. Withdrawing a large ziplock bag, he turned and set it on the rusted countertop between the sinks with a flourish like it was a gift. It was colorful like a gift. The large bag contained a bunch of smaller ones filled with pills grouped together by color.
“What’s in there that’s good?” War asked, peering with more than a little interest at the bag.
“Uppers, downers, the usual. Got coke in the bedroom.” Kyle glanced at me. “If you want it, it’s all yours.”
“I don’t do drugs,” I said firmly and tugged on War’s arm. “You made your point. Take me home.”
“Your uncle’s place isn’t home, and you know it. It’s a temporary accommodation, same as mine.” He narrowed his eyes. “You’re home when you’re with me.”
“It doesn’t feel like home,” I said, but as soon as I made the statement, it rang false.
Kyle’s apartment was eerily similar, not in layout, but in goings-on to the one Dizzy and I’d shared with our mother. I only thought I’d put that world behind me, but it had been there all along, lurking in the periphery. Just because I chose not to peer into the darkness anymore