synopsis with a shaky breath. “I can’t do this anymore. I am so tired.”
“What are you tired of?”
“Life. It goes on and on and hurts so goddamn much. And it never stops.”
“No, it doesn’t,” he agreed. “And it never will for us.”
“I can’t do it anymore. I want to go away.”
“Where?” he asked.
“Where life can’t reach me anymore. Where I can’t be hurt anymore.”
“There are very few places like that, Fantazia,” he said, “in this world or in any other. Besides, you tried it before. Did it help to be away from everyone?”
“No, I was so lonely,” I sobbed. “But it was better than this. I can’t keep doing this over and over again, caring about someone and then losing them. First with Andrew and then Victor and now . . . God, you don’t know how lucky you are that you get to forget.”
His face darkened. “Oh, yes. I’m blessed. Ask Lainey how much it hurt her to see me walking around not knowing who she was. For me to have suspicions of why she acted like she hated me only to have her confirm it later: that I replaced the man she loved.”
“It worked out for you,” I retorted.
“This time,” he said. “She decided she loves this new me. But I’ll never know how many people left because they couldn’t deal with the pain. And that’s a whole new agony to deal with.”
“It’s better than this,” I said, motioning to Cyrus. “To seeing one of the few people I’ve let myself care about die right before my eyes, then to never forget it. To never forget. Having to deal with that pain again. Forever.”
Wesley studied me. “You . . . care for him?”
“Yes.” The admission was like tearing out my own entrails. “Great, eh? Look what it got me.”
“Love,” Wesley said.
I met his eyes. “What do you mean? The fact that you and I buried the hatchet?”
He shook his head. “No. I meant that he was in love with you.”
My throat felt like it was going to close. “He said that to you?”
Wesley shook his head. “He didn’t have to.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
“I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s reciprocated.”
“Oh, no. If you want the gory details, Pop—”
“Not like that.” He shook his head, amused and a bit exasperated. “That’s not love. Love isn’t sex—”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“—though sex is like icing on the cake of love.”
I winced. “Wow. You were a poet in one of your lives. Not this one.”
“The very fact that you’re making smart remarks is telling,” Wesley said. “You’re trying to avoid the subject.”
It was true; the discomfort of the situation was getting to me. “So, who’s still around that could work a hex?” I asked, deftly changing the subject.
From the look he shot me, I wasn’t quite as deft as I’d hoped. “Besides you and I?” He quirked an eyebrow and I nodded. “I’m not sure.”
“Is there anything you can do?” I asked, looking over at Cyrus. He was still lying motionless, eyes open and seeing nothing.
My father sighed. “To try to figure out who’s doing all this, to trace the drain spell back and try to put a stop to it, or to help save Cyrus? Which are you asking for?”
I shrugged. I really meant saving Cyrus, but I supposed they were all extremely important.
“The answer to all three is a resounding, ‘I’m not sure.’ ”
“Wow. Not the answer I was looking for,” I muttered.
“That’s all you’re going to get I’m afraid,” he said with a sad little smile. He eyed Cyrus. “I’m impressed, though. It’s not often you see a freeze spell so effective on a human body.”
I gave him a sad smile of my own. “It’s multilayered.”
“How so?”
I didn’t want to admit to this, but . . . “There’s more than just a freeze spell. I froze him so he couldn’t flail around. That’ll wear off before too long and I’ll have to decide on a different fix.”
“And the other layer is?”
I ignored my father’s question. “I froze him as he was. The magic infecting him was too strong, there was no way I could take it off. Only the original caster can—or it’ll end when his or her life ends.” That option was sounding pretty good right about now. If I could get my hands on the magic-user who’d done this, the remainder of his or her life would be pretty short. Like, ten seconds or less. “He’ll just stay