hands clasped and her lips painted, and I knew, with overwhelming certainty, that I was making a mistake. We were descending into the bowels of hell, and when the elevator pinged and the attendant said, “Your floor,” I hesitated.
“Take us back up,” I demanded. The attendant frowned but pressed a button to prevent the door from opening.
“Sir?” he asked.
“Benny?” Esther pressed.
I didn’t have a gun. I didn’t have a plan B. I didn’t even have backup. We’d decided not to tell Money, Alvin, and Lee Otis where we were going. Better to keep them out of it. All I had was my Uncle Sal waiting for me with his den of thieves and a tiny, red songbird who would be caged or crushed if things went badly. I was selling my soul to the devil.
“Take us back up,” I repeated.
“Did you forget something, Mr. Lament?” The Negro attendant didn’t quite meet my eyes. He fidgeted, making me even more nervous.
“You know who I am?” I asked.
“Yes, sir. You’re Benny Lament.” He looked at Esther with a quick twist of his lips and a funny little bow, adding, “And you’re Esther Mine. I’m Elroy Grady. I love your song. We’re all singing it.”
“What song is that?” Esther asked.
“‘Any Man.’” He grinned and began to sing under his breath. “I don’t need another mother, brother—sister, mister, sweater, whatever—and I don’t need any man.” He shook his head, marveling. “It’s catchy.”
“We’re going to sing a few numbers in the lounge, Elroy. Maybe we’ll do that one . . . just for you,” Esther said.
“No. We’re not going to be singing in the lounge. Take us back up,” I insisted.
Elroy looked from me to Esther, but he didn’t open the door and he didn’t push the button to return us to our floor.
“My cousin buses tables in the Blackbird Room. That’s probably where you’re singing . . . right?” Elroy asked.
“What’s his name?” Esther said, ignoring me.
“Percy Brown. Percy’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you.”
“We’ll say hello if we see him, Elroy,” she promised.
“He’s colored . . . like us,” he said, still keeping the doors closed, his eyes on Esther’s. “He’s the only colored fella on duty tonight. You’ll see him.” He turned to me. “He plays the piano too . . . like you, Mr. Lament. This is going to be a real treat.”
“We’ll try not to let him down,” Esther said, her voice kind.
“The only way you’ll let him down is not to sing at all. You’d be lettin’ us all down then.”
You’d be lettin’ us all down then.
I closed my eyes and prayed for guidance. This was about so much more than me. It was about so much more than Salvatore Vitale or Rudolf Alexander.
“Are you two really together?” Elroy whispered, like he was afraid someone would overhear, even though we were the only ones in the elevator.
“We really are,” Esther said.
“I knew it. That’s nice. That’s good. Percy said he wasn’t sure. He said it might just be a gimmick . . . something to draw attention. But that’s not it, is it?”
“That’s not it,” I said.
“Someone didn’t like you two singing together . . . is that why you’re all beat up?” he asked quietly.
There was no easy answer, so I shook my head.
“You two are making history. How does that feel?” Elroy asked, amazement underscoring his question.
I didn’t answer again, and he frowned sympathetically.
“It doesn’t feel too good right now, does it?” he said. Then he grinned and winked.
I grinned too, and the action reopened my split lip. I dabbed at the blood with my handkerchief, and then I laughed. It started out a chuckle, but it grew until I was wheezing, the mirth as much a release as my tears had been on the roadside between Detroit and Chicago. Elroy and Esther laughed with me, though not as hard, and I could tell by Esther’s bemused smile that she wasn’t certain I hadn’t lost my marbles.
“There’s always gotta be a first time, right?” Elroy said finally, still smiling. “There’s always gotta be someone who shows the world how it’s done.”
“You wanna change the world, you gotta show ’em what it looks like,” Esther agreed, and she tucked her arm through mine.
“I like that,” Elroy whispered, nodding.
“We aren’t the first, Elroy,” she said.
“First I’ve seen. Hopefully you won’t be the last,” he replied. He hesitated, his eyes swinging between us. “You still want to go back up, Mr. Lament?”
I did. I wanted to get the