smoothed a wayward strand of hair from her face. “I don’t feel married anymore. Lynnette has been gone for so long. All I know is that the ache I’ve known can be filled with you, Madeleine.”
He cupped her face within his hands and bent to kiss her again. She whipped her head from side-to-side, struggling from his grip.
“No, I can’t!” she wailed. She pushed him away and slid down the rock and took off in a half-run, half-walk since her knee ached fiercely.
“Madeleine, wait!” he called to her.
She stopped and spun around. “Leave me alone!” she cried. “God forgive us.”
Chapter Fifteen
Madeleine fled across the meadow, her skirts held high. Her limp made the going hard and she cursed Henri with every step.
She reached into her pocket and withdrew Henri-the-Pebble. “I hate you, Henri, I truly hate you, and I hope you rot in Hell!” She spat on the small stone and then flung it from her. “Take that, you rotten bastard!”
She continued toward her tent, stealing a few cautious looks over her shoulder. Thankfully, Lord Montayne did not follow.
Reaching the tent, she moved aside the flap. A single candle burned by Gwenith’s pallet. She was fast asleep, as was Evan, snuggled next to his mother. Madeleine extinguished the candle, slipped her shoes off, and made her way to her own bed in the corner.
She lay down and pushed her face into the pillow to choke out the sobs as she had learned to do to avoid even further punishment from Henri. Hot tears soaked the pillowcase. She could not control them. Her insides ached, a deep, throbbing pain that was more than physical. She felt the hurt down into her very soul.
God had given her almost more than she could bear with her mockery of a marriage. She had escaped before she became another added rumor for Henri’s fourth wife to muse upon. She was willing to atone for breaking her wedding vows by living out the rest of her life in a convent, devoting herself to a life of prayers, dedicated to Him alone. If Henri chose to divorce her, so be it. She would have rid herself of a monster and have gained sanctuary in the process.
But now God tested her resolve in another way. She desperately wanted the Earl of Montayne. She needed him more than anything on this earth. Yet he was the one thing she could never have. Would a loving God put temptation in her path? Was this a test of her faith?
Thank the Just Almighty that she remembered her own marriage vows before things went beyond a kiss. She reminded herself that even if she were not wed, it was a sin for her to be with the nobleman, even if his lawfully wedded wife had abandoned him for parts unknown.
She never wanted him to know she, too, was married. He was a man. Even if he learned that Henri had beaten her, he would not condone her actions. Most men beat their wives and a man would naturally side with another man. Lord Montayne must never learn the truth.
Avoiding him would be next to impossible. He was the lord of Stanbury and might show up anywhere on that property unannounced. Though it pained her, she must end the lessons with Lyssa. That would keep their contact to a minimum. She would also need people around when she saw him. They could never be alone again as they had been tonight. She feared she would give in to temptation otherwise.
Madeleine sighed, wiping away tears. She had enjoyed working with Lyssa far more than she’d let on. At times, she had secretly thought of Lyssa as her own daughter, reveling in such a fantasy. She felt sorry the girl would be hurt by the situation but Madeleine must avoid Lord Montayne as much as possible.
But couldn’t she think about him for just a little while? Surely God wouldn’t begrudge her that small pleasure. Those few moments tonight with the earl were the happiest she’d known since she’d left her parents and moved to Chateau Maraine with Henri.
Madeleine pictured Garrett’s boots first, then worked her way up his strong, powerful body. She imagined his lips on hers, the feel of his hand along her jaw, the touch of his tongue against hers. Her belly fluttered again and she moaned softly, longing for him and a life out of reach.
A fresh flood of tears sprang from her eyes, tears of desire and loneliness. Madeleine curled into