I don't like those guys! They're great."
I grunted out a laugh, rolling my eyes, because, yeah, they were great, but they were also really fucking annoying sometimes.
"I just… Can I think about it?"
Then would have been the perfect time to tell him that I knew everything, and put him out of his misery, because it was clear this whole thing was messing with his head, but the longer I let this thing go on, the more guilty I felt about the whole thing.
I grunted again, giving him a small smile.
I'd just let him decide whether or not he wanted to go, and if he said no, I'd tell him what was going on. Maybe he'd end up being braver than me.
***
AUGUST
He was avoiding me. He said he had some work to do, but I knew he didn't have a session tonight, because I checked his site. I was sure he was probably planning on vlogging, but he usually did that after he left my house for the night, or I left his, but he hadn't texted or called, and I could tell by the super-short answer I got back when I texted him, that he was in the middle of freaking out… and avoiding me.
I pulled up his vlog and waited. Within ten minutes, the symbol indicating he was on popped up, and right after that, there he was, gnawing on his lip and looking sad.
"Hi guys. So, I know everything I talk about on here is pretty much my neighbor this, and my neighbor that, but guys…" He sighed. "He asked me to come to his family's house this weekend for dinner. It seems too early if he wants to date me, right? It has to mean he just wants to be my friend, and don't get me wrong, I really want to be his friend, but… I'm such a damn mess. I guess I'd been hoping lately that I was seeing something else in the way he talked to me, and even though I know relationships don't work for me, I just really wanted all that to be true, and I really want to go meet his family. I know they are really important to him, but at least one of his future brothers-in-law, plus his brother, know what I do for a living, and if I go, there is no way that isn't going to be brought up, and then everyone in the room is going to be talking about it, and then he'll know. I'm surprised he hasn't heard it yet anyway. And him being my friend instead of anything else, should make telling him easier, but it doesn't, because I don't want him to look at me like some people do when they find out what I do, and I totally called his name last night during my scene. I'm screwed, aren't I? My crush on him is getting worse with every minute I spend with him, and…"
His eyes watered miserably, and I could tell he was fighting a sob as he swallowed hard.
"I just don't know what to do," he whispered, before reaching out and turning the camera off, and I couldn't take it anymore.
I was being selfish before when I let my fear keep me from telling him the truth. He was scared and so was I, but at least I had all the information. He was flying at this thing blind, and here I was fully expecting him to do it alone.
Closing my laptop, I jumped to my feet, completely forgoing a shirt, and barely remembering to shut my door, before I was pounding on his.
His eyes were wide and surprised when he opened the door, but I barely gave him time to process the fact that I was there, before I was scooping him up into my arms and burying my face in his neck, while I hugged him hard.
"Grant?" he gasped, clearly shocked.
"Can I come in for a minute?"
"Yeah."
I sighed, pulling back to look at him as I ushered us backward, kicking the door shut.
"What is that for," he whispered, blinking up at me in surprise.
"I needed it, and I felt like you did too."
He huffed out a small, sad laugh, throwing his arms back around my neck, hugging me again. "I do." We stood like that for a long time, and I allowed myself to enjoy the feel of him against me, shivering slightly when his hands moved over the bare skin of my shoulders, and then down over