why?
I could come over?
you’re in town?
For a little bit.
ok sure
See you in like 20 mins.
The water was close to bubbling and I put the noodles in. I told the boys to listen for the pizza timer. I told them I was taking a quick shower. I told them Rafael was coming over. They nodded and kept playing their game. I told them to pause it.
“If you don’t take the pizza out when the timer goes off, it’ll burn. You understand what I’m saying? I don’t trust you two,” I said, stabbing at them with two fingers.
“Chloe, we’re ten and twelve. Not two,” Angel said.
“Then act like it,” I said, flipping them off.
Angel flashed his middle finger at me.
“Okay,” Aidan said, before unpausing the game.
* * *
I showered, washed and conditioned my hair using my mom’s expensive shampoo and Chanel body wash. I thought about Rafael putting his hands on me. I thought about Jordan putting his hands on me. I thought about Rafael and Jordan putting their hands on me at the same time. I was so thankful I didn’t see smoke or smell anything burning when I walked out of the bathroom, the shower steam following me like a little Winnie-the-Pooh rain cloud. I smelled so good. I pressed my nose to my wrists and breathed in in in in in.
I would keep my hair up in a towel until Rafael got there. I wanted him to know I took a shower because he was coming over. I wanted Jordan to maybe see me too. I didn’t care about the other guys working on the deck. The boys had followed my directions with the pizza and the pasta for the mac and cheese was done. I put on clothes, left my hair up, drained the pasta, squeezed the packet of cheesy sauce over it, and told my brothers to come and get it. My house was full of and surrounded by boys, there was a boy coming over. I needed to text my mom, I needed to talk to a woman.
i need to bleed. it’s time to start my period. i’m so cranky.
You’re not pregnant? LOL right? ;)
mama no! IMPOSSIBLE RIGHT NOW. are y’all having a good time?
My parents were on a Love Weekend in Cincinnati. That’s what they called it. Every year, they went away for two days at the end of summer.
Yes we are. The deck guys are doing fine? No creeps?
My mom always liked to ask no creeps whenever I was around any men.
no creeps. they’re nice. one’s cute.
LOL. Text or call anytime you need to. The boys ok?
the boys are fine. i made them mac and cheese pizza.
You’re a sweet sister. Love y’all.
love y’all too.
I didn’t tell her Rafael was coming over because I didn’t know what it meant yet. I didn’t know what it meant when Rafael showed up at the front door either. I stepped out on the porch as I held the door open for him and saw Jordan going into the back of his truck for something. He looked up at me. I made quick eye contact with him before I went back inside.
“So, what are they doing?” Rafael asked, leaning toward the kitchen sink to get a better look out of the window. He did this after he’d said hey to my brothers and talked to them about the video game. He’d said he’d gotten it recently too. Apparently every dude in the world was obsessed with this video game and guys always tried to make it seem like girls were the silly ones. Annoying.
“Building a new deck,” I said, like it was the most obvious thing.
“Is that you?” Rafael asked, turning toward me.
“Is that me, what?”
“That smells like pink bubblegum and flowers?” He leaned forward and put his nose on my neck, inhaled.
I giggled a little and took my hair down from the towel.
“I guess,” I said, heading toward the hallway, the bathroom. Rafael followed me.
* * *
I met Rafael at college but Rafael and I were from the same town. We didn’t know it until we got to college. Rafael had half dated a girl on my floor I didn’t know and she gave me the stink eye when Rafael started coming to my room instead of hers. She felt like she owned him and I did too. Something about Rafael made me feel like he belonged to me and only me, even though he was never my boyfriend. We’d never had full-on sex. He’d gone down on