most of those stories were taking.”
While they didn’t know if Eva truly was one of the Ashara, from the way Eva stared blankly, she must have started to believe it.
“I understand if you’re scared,” Jayna said.
Eva shot her a look. “Scared?” She shook her head. “I was scared when you started talking about the smoke attacking a dark sorcerer within the city. I was scared when I started to think that perhaps it was me, and I wasn’t remembering what was happening.” She looked down at her empty glass. “Do you know that I worry about what would happen if I were to suddenly start attacking without knowing what was taking place? I fear that might happen. I fear I don’t know what I’m doing all the time. I fear that even when I take action, I might be losing those memories in the future.”
“Have you lost memories of the time we’ve spent together?”
“Only when I try,” Eva said.
Jayna smiled. “Why would you try?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the kind of things you have us facing. I don’t really want to remember a dwaring. Much like I don’t really want to remember some of the dark sorcerers we’ve faced.” She rested her head back, closing her eyes again. “It’s easier to forget.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, and Jayna debated how much she was going to push. She had given Eva space for as long as they’d been together, and that space had been reasonable to Jayna, especially given everything she knew Eva had gone through—or, at least, everything she suspected Eva had gone through. Now she wondered if giving her space was a mistake and if it was time for her to push. Eva needed to face her past—needed to confront who and what she had been. Eva needed to remember.
Eva reached for the bottle, but Jayna slid it off to the side, where it tipped and spilled onto the stone floor. “See what you did?”
“It’s not the first time wine has been spilled on this floor,” Jayna said, motioning to another stain that had dried long ago.
“You get mad at me when I spill wine,” Eva muttered.
“I don’t get mad. Not about that. I get upset when you don’t want to talk. Kind of like now.”
“You get mad because you always like to talk.”
“Always?”
“Far more than I do,” Eva said.
“Everybody likes to talk more than you do,” Jayna said. “And in this case, I think we need to. You need to.”
“You just want to go through what you uncovered.”
“Yes. There was an enchantment that looked like your power but wasn’t the same.”
Eva arched a brow. “There was.”
“There was. After you left, Raollet’s shop was attacked again, and I suspect it was somebody using an enchantment to make it look like your kind of magic We have proof that there is somebody trying to use that kind of magic. Maybe even trying to make it look like you were involved—either that, or to make it look as if there’s another Ashara in the city.”
“There you go.”
“There I go with what?”
“Using the term I can’t embrace.”
“If that’s what you are—”
“I don’t know what I am,” Eva said, sitting forward for a moment before leaning back and closing her eyes. She clasped her hands across her chest, holding on to the wine glass as if it were something that would bring her peace. “I don’t know what I am,” Eva repeated. “I’ve tried to figure it out. I know you don’t think I have, but I’ve spent days and days sitting and thinking and searching for answers. I keep thinking that if I work hard enough and long enough, the answers will come to me, but there’s nothing within me that has provided those answers yet.”
“I don’t blame you for not finding answers,” Jayna said.
“You blame me for something,” Eva said.
“I blame you now for trying to avoid the answers. I think you’ve been incredibly brave through all of this. I don’t know how I would’ve handled it if I were in your position.”
“You probably would’ve complained a lot more.”
“And I would’ve drank a lot less,” Jayna said.
Eva shook her head. “I don’t know what to make of what Raollet told you.”
“I don’t either. Which is why the two of us need to keep talking.”
“Why? What do you think that will do?”
“Maybe nothing. But at the same time, if it provides you with an opportunity to find answers, then don’t we need to dig